tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30366730054506371812024-03-05T09:06:35.125-08:00How to Dismantle Your LifeIt's about finding a forever life, a forever house, horror, writing, dogs, love, life, living simply and simply living.Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-10340407384283788012019-02-09T05:19:00.001-08:002019-05-07T03:48:13.857-07:00Trauma 2.0<div>
Feeling ...... don’t know what I’m feeling. </div>
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Nine years ago today everything was normal. Nine years ago tomorrow, I had brain surgery and everything changed. </div>
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I thought I would be physically the same after. I wasn’t. </div>
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I thought I would return to who I used to be. I didn’t. </div>
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I thought it would take time to heal, but I wasn’t prepared for Malina 2.0. </div>
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No one tells you the damage a ruptured brain aneurysm will do to you physically, mentally or emotionally, or what the cost is to family and friends.</div>
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No one prepares you for the rage, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, wisdom, strength, growth, and passion that can come from getting as close to death and still survive. </div>
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No one understands this journey except for people who walk the path with you. I am lucky I didn’t lose my husband. Most do. I am lucky to have some of my family stay. Most don’t. I am lucky I am employed. Most aren’t. </div>
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The fallout of a traumatic injury is horrendous. I lost so much more than short term memory damage. Every day is still a fight, but it is getting easier. </div>
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What I learned is love and kindness are the only things that matter. Don’t accept or give anything less. Don’t let others determine your self worth. Try new things. Learn new passions. Keep living, and fighting, and breathing. </div>
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People will leave. Let them go. It will hurt more than anything else. It will feel like battery acid pouring on your soul and you will feel like walking over the edge. </div>
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Don’t.</div>
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Because everything changes. Even the crippling pain. </div>
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A brain aneurysm changed my life forever. I will never be who I was, and that’s okay. To quote Hannibal, that is my design. </div>
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Lessons Learned: love hard. Love yourself harder. You will survive this pain. The pain will come back and it will change. Depression and anger are normal. Suicidal thoughts are normal. Numbing and isolation are normal. All normal reactions to an abnormal event. </div>
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Get help when you reach the end of your rope. Talk to someone who will listen. Read books. Educate yourself. Know you can survive and it will be the toughest thing you will ever do. Be sad, but do not live there. Find the good stuff and grab on. There is so much more to do, to love, and to experience. The only constant in life, is </div>
<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-23366174970142927582019-01-01T09:13:00.006-08:002019-05-07T03:48:59.502-07:00Adverse Childhood Experience Score and Trauma<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3036673005450637181" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>Do you know your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score? Take the quiz and find out. The score is 0-10. <br />
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https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean<br />
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Interesting fact: having a higher score can cause all kinds of health issues in middle age. The top diseases include liver damage, Fibromyalgia, IBS, GERD, muscle pain, chronic fatigue, cancer, kidney damage, ulcers, high blood pressure, insomnia and more. <br />
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What happens is glucocosteroids trigger the sympathetic nervous system without you knowing it. That sore shoulder that never seems to find relief from pain could be from tension spiked by a chemical response in your body while you sleep. Without treating childhood trauma, life does not get easier. Studies have shown childhood trauma takes an average of 19 years off life expectancy. <br />
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The positive side is having one person who loved you, listened to you as a child, someone who helped you can also lower the risk and side effects. <br />
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Tenets of Trauma Treatment<br />
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1. No Judgement:We are all on a journey and we all have a past. Thoughts and beliefs are examined in a non-judgemental way to allow for change and growth. We look at things from a neutral and rational perspective, and take it everything as it is, including ourselves and others as they are, which leads to;<br />
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2. Curiosity:We become curious about behaviours and analyze them based on what the intention, or what was the decision based on what our experiences were at the time, which leads to;<br />
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3. Acceptance:We learn things as they are and drop the assumptions, or the stories we've told ourselves. We stop the tapes running through our heads, and reframe them with;<br />
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4. Positive Action and Thought:We move forward through positive action and thought, and re-wire the brain to stop the stories, and to become;<br />
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5. Objective: We look at beliefs, thoughts, patterns, decisions and actions, and examine them objectively, and how our emotions tied into those beliefs, and then we;<br />
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6. Reframe our World View: Finally, we show different thoughts and beliefs giving us a different perspective; examine the issue and problems in a new light, which can allow us to move forward, and then we;<br />
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7. Set Realistic Expectations: Being realistic means that patterns can change from negative to positive, and we may have set backs, however, we also have the power to change the set backs and move forward. We have realistic expectations so when set backs occur, we have the tools to stop the spiral and create healthy coping mechanisms.<br />
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The beautiful experience that comes from working with these basic principles is Post Traumatic Growth, the positive creation that comes from trauma. Create growth with these five pillars:<br />
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1. Build Mental Toughness<br />
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2. Search the Good Stuff<br />
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3. Look at our Character Strengths <br />
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4. Build Strong Relationships<br />
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5. Assertive CommunicationMalina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-57630073630336486122018-10-26T07:31:00.000-07:002019-05-07T03:49:42.462-07:00Life Balance: Creating Positve Change I attended a great National Manager's Conference the other day with speakers from across Canada, and across all levels of government. The overall message is 'People are our greatest resource'. I firmly believe this because as a leader, people are what make or break a team, an organization or a business.<br />
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So why do so many of us not feel the spirit behind the message? Why do these five words cause consternation and emotional dissonance? What are we doing as leaders to support our people?<br />
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According to the American Institute of Stress, 65% of people reporting that workplace stress impacts negatively on their lives, not only on the job but overall. This is a small excerpt form the article.<br />
Highlighted statistics from the CDC NIOSH report: https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/99-101/<br />
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•40% of workers reported their job was very or extremely stressful<br />
•25% view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives<br />
•Three fourths of employees believe that workers have more on-the-job stress than a generation ago<br />
•29% of workers felt quite a bit or extremely stressed at work<br />
•26 percent of workers said they were “often or very often burned out or stressed by their work”<br />
•Job stress is more strongly associated with health complaints than financial or family problems<br />
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Highlighted statistics from the Attitude in the Workplace Report: https://www.stress.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/2001Attitude-in-the-Workplace-Harris.pdf</div>
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•80% of workers feel stress on the job, nearly half say they need help in learning how to manage stress and 42% say their coworkers need such help<br />
•14% of respondents had felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t<br />
•25% have felt like screaming or shouting because of job stress, 10% are concerned about an individual at work they fear could become violent<br />
•9% are aware of an assault or violent act in their workplace and 18% had experienced some sort of threat or verbal intimidation in the past year.</div>
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This is a serious issue and there are numerous courses, seminars and workshops that teach us how to cope with stress, and teach us what the repercussions are to our health when dispositive changes occur in the workplace.<br />
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People become disengaged, morale plummets, sick days increase, people are calling it in, rather than giving it their all, which decreases productivity and we end up with a generation of unhealthy people. Doctors visits increase, which places a burden on our health care system, substance and drug abuse increases which impacts our bodies, and we become complacent believing nothing can change. </div>
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People are our most valuable resource, but when the writing on the wall says we can hire a younger, cheaper version of a seasoned and knowledgeable employee, or we can cut your status or pay, but you still get to have all the responsibility, then what really is the message? And as an employee, how do you mitigate the impact to your life and to your family?</div>
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<b>Attitude:</b> become versed in keeping emotion out of your attitude. Much easier said than done, since this can feel personal. Step away, emotionally, and look at the reason behind decisions, but do this based on fact, not the tapes running through your head. You know what I mean. Someone will say or do something, such as invite an entire team for coffee, but neglect to offer the invitation to you, and you watch as they all walk past your desk, without telling you they are leaving or why. </div>
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Immediately you start telling yourself, you don't matter, they don't like you, why should you do anything for them in the future and you spiral into a vortex of anger and hurt. Stop. Stop this tape. It is self defeating. Instead become curious. Is there another reason why you did not get an invite? You can do this by checking in with someone when they return. A simple way to approach this is to ask,"Hey Fred, I am curious about why you didn't let me know you were all leaving." Check in with the person, but do it in a way that is not emotional, not accusatory, and do it without the tapes running in your head. </div>
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You may get an answer such as it was a project meeting we needed to discuss to work on details, or any other number of reasons that have nothing to do with you personally. By checking in, we can reframe those negative associations we make, which causes increased stress. </div>
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<b>Stay focused on your role and responsibility:</b> what is the reason behind what you do? Are you doing it to the best of your ability? Are you able to keep up with the demands and pace of your job? Do you need additional resources, tools, time? Reflect on these questions and if you need help, say so, but again, do it without the emotion. Storming into your manager's office and making demands will not work quite as well as setting up an appointment with a clear message of what you want to discuss, and then go the appointment with your issues, and your possible solutions. If you are just coming in without solutions, you have not done your job. All you are doing is complaining. </div>
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Leaders take the time to discover what the issue is and come up with options and solutions. Do not expect your manager or boss to help you if you are not willing to come up with some ideas as to how you can change your work in order to help yourself. I use the word leader intentionally, because regardless of your job title, you are all leaders, and how you behave reflects on whether you are eligible for promotion and effects your reputation. Anyone can come up with reasons why something will not work, how it will fail and why it can't be done. Step out of the crowd and come up with possible solutions. This takes the ego out of the equation and instead, empowers your brain into thinking solution rather than problem. </div>
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<b>Leave the problems at work: </b>Change your thoughts by changing your beliefs and staying focused on the positive. Make a mental decision to lessen the affect of stress in your life by telling yourself that when your hand touches the door handle when you leave your office, your work stays in the office. All of it. </div>
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This has to be a conscious decision and it has to be repeated each and every day in order to reframe your brain into believing that work can and should stay at work. This is a skill, and as all skills, needs practise. </div>
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Do not take it home. Do not let it interfere or take you away from your partner, your children, your passions, your life. Because it will. If you allow the job to follow you around like a dark cloud, the quality of your life changes. </div>
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We spend one third of our lives at work, one third of it sleeping and one third somewhere else. Do not allow the one third of the work place to intrude on the other two thirds. It is not fair to you or your family. Disengage from work when you reach that door handle. Take a deep breath, float all those negative feelings out of your mind and let them go. </div>
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Instead, focus on what you love, what gives you drive, what your passions are, and your health, your family and fun. </div>
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Change your thoughts, change your beliefs and change those mental tapes. The best part is, once you change one, the others change as well. </div>
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Stay positive, stay healthy, stay in the present. </div>
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#mentalhealthmatters</div>
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#leadership</div>
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#thewildthingyoga</div>
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https://www.stress.org/workplace-stress/</div>
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Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-75009785452034652732018-08-10T08:19:00.020-07:002019-05-07T03:51:58.313-07:00The New Face of PTSDI read an interesting article the other day on Medium about PTSD. The writer opined that PTSD has changed from the war torn soldier facing demons from what they encountered during operational duties to one that affects many people in day to day lives, and how this change causes people to react differently to someone who has PTSD from abuse, a serious medical injury, severe emotional bullying from parents or witnessing horrific acts, or being made to particiapte in horrific acts, from someone who has PTSD from being in the military or a police officer.<br />
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Interesting as I was just talking to my husband about this very topic last week. The typical spin on PTSD, or, as it is called in the military and RCMP, an OSI...Operational Stress Injury, kind of confirms this line of thinking; PTSD from an operational perspective is somehow more damaging psychologically than PTSD from being beaten and raped as a child, being traumatized by another adult or facing a life altering event.<br />
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After studying trauma for the past thirty years, and extensively for the past three years, I can tell you, trauma is trauma, no matter what you call it or how you dress it up, or under what circumstances it was conceived in.<br />
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The reactions are the same: sever anxiety, depression, grief, drug and alcohol abuse to numb the pain, hyper vigilance, hyper startle reflex, insomnia, nightmares, night terrors, anger, uncontrollable rage. Then there are the physiological responses: ulcers, severe acid reflux, digestive problems, internal organ damage from the onslaught of cortisol coursing through the body, vagus nerve damage, headaches, nausea, migraines, tinnitus, vomiting, heart palpitations, angina, internal bleeding, brain aneurysms, muscle and nerve damage, fibromyalgia, and much more.<br />
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What you do not hear about is how many women commit suicide because of horrific abuse suffered by the hands of their parents during childhood. Or, how many people have severe PTSD after being beaten and abused, emotionally or mentally from their partners. Sexual crimes against women are still being debated as to whether it is consensual or not, regardless of the emotional damage.<br />
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Coaches, Priests, and Boy Scout Leaders that systematically traumatized boys in their care, either verbally, physically or sexually, are not outed until the victim comes forward. And then, typically, the victim has to fight the stigma of being a male that was raped. And then he gets the added benefit of PTSD.<br />
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We have to start making the connection that any type of assault on people, verbal, sexual, or physical creates long lasting, damaging consequences. Bullying of any form on anyone, whether in the workplace, schools, homes, universities or the hockey arena creates damage that is not easily repaired.<br />
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We need to understand the depth of violence we create and are responsible for, with our actions. And most of all, we need to support and help the people that are injured. We need to listen. We need to sincerely apologize, and we need to acknowledge their pain.<br />
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Far too long we have been silent or silenced because it makes others uncomfortable. That is unacceptable.<br />
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If you suffer from trauma, speak out, get help, talk to someone you trust. There are numerous resources available in Canada and the US either through your work, in the mental heath community or through the medical community. Reach out. Say something, say anything. You matter.<br />
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If you cannot speak out, write it out. Take twenty minute and write or draw, anything. Let the feelings and the emotions pour out. You do not have to be grammatically correct, or an artist to release the demons. Draw and write whatever spews forth, and then burn it. The very act of pouring out your thoughts rather than stuffing them down, and then burning away those thoughts can bring about a feeling of catharsis. And maybe, one day, you will be strong enough to seek help. Do this for yourself. Do this for the people that love you.<br />
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Sometimes, we are harder on ourselves than we are on others. We believe we are at fault, we deserve the crappy life we are wallowing in, because somehow we said or did the wrong thing, we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, we dressed inappropriately, we said something that upset the balance, and nothing could be further from the truth. We keep ourselves locked up from guilt and shame, because it is easier to believe we had control over the event and that somehow we can prevent it from happening again, if we dress correctly, not speak up or out, if we follow the rules, if we tried harder, if we remain silent. This is reinforced by others who fear the same thing can happen to them, so well-meaning friends and relatives will tell you, if you hadn’t been walking alone at night, you would not have been assaulted; if you had not been drunk, you would have been safe; if you were not alone with the coach or priest, you would not have been molested; if you had not made your partner angry, you would have not been beaten.<br />
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I’ve had trauma survivors tell me that their children have disclosed abuse, and the children are lying because they are seeking attention. These adults are so damaged, that they cannot see what is happening in front of them and choose to believe their child is at fault, and consequently, they are at fault as well for their own abuse.<br />
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Years ago a small town in Alberta had a disproportionate number of rapes. The solution? Do not allow women to walk outside after 8:00 PM. Instead of locking up the men, they locked up the women.<br />
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This magical thinking serves two purposes: it keeps people scared so they do not repeat what you did and they believe that keeps them safe, and it reinforces the lesson that you are at fault.<br />
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Change is difficult, and the people in our lives will be uncomfortable with changes we make to keep ourselves healthy. Be prepared to lose friends and family. But, also look forward to having some control over your life. Accept that you deserve peace, stability and love. People who love you, will support you. There is hope.<br />
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<b>Canadian Resources: </b><br />
Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868<br />
Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645<br />
Native Youth Crisis Line: 1-877-209-1266<br />
Centre for Suicide Prevention: 1-833-456-4566<br />
<b>American Resources:</b><br />
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255<br />
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<a href="https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/mental-health-resources/">https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/mental-health-resources/</a><br />
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#mentalhealthmatters<br />
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<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-33681239789328865072018-04-02T07:13:00.001-07:002019-05-07T03:52:42.188-07:00Living with TraumaAnother holiday has passed, and I am thankful. This time I did not cry, although I was quieter than usual. But, I did not cry. I did not go to bed to lick my wounds. I got sick, but I pushed through it and stayed. That's huge.<br />
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I have never been a fan of holidays as the reminders all around of what a happy family is, spending time with family, hallmark moments and all the hyperbole surrounding what a traditional family is just confirms the terrors and actions of a few can damage other for life, sucking all that is good and leaving a husk of a person behind.<br />
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Most days I feel like a fraud, like I am a fake person walking in a shell of a human being, being happy, joking, laughing and joining in. Holidays are the absolute worst. The stress of knowing the depth of my longing for, but never having a complete family where I fit in, is non existent.<br />
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Happiness is a choice, but it is also a chemical balance in the gut and brain. I work hard at being happy. I struggle with it every single day, and not for lack of trying. I meditate, do yoga, read voraciously on any medical, psychological and scientific research available, I do not stuff my feelings anymore, I eat...when my body allows me to, I sleep, when my mind allows me to, I take all my prescribed meds. Like my doctor says, I am doing all the right things. Trouble is, all it takes is one little holiday to make me want to disappear.<br />
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I know there are a lot of us that feel this way. I see it in my extended family's posts, I hear it in my groups, and it seems no one gets it unless you have been there.<br />
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This year I decided to move on from my life, and reinvent a new one. So far, it's been a good journey, three months into the year. But I know, no matter what happens, that little traumatized, abused kid, the one that almost died, twice, the one that had more betrayal in one lifetime than others see in 10, will never fully trust and will never fully be functional as a normal human being.<br />
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I am my trauma. I am my brain damage. I am my CPTSD. I'm reminded of it when I get sick around family events and holidays. I am reminded by it when I look around and know I don't really fit in with anyone. I am reminded of it when I become emotionally paralyzed and don't know how to proceed further. My traumas (yes, multiple) changed me as a person emotionally, mentally and physically. This is the new reality. I accept it. I just wish it didn't hurt.<br />
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I will keep fighting. But there are days when I just want it all to go away and have a do over life. Do I wish I had done things differently? You bet. But I cannot keep looking past, and I haven't in a long while. I focus on the now. I don't think about the future. I try to stay in the moment and I carry on.<br />
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<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-56709467278331272352018-03-01T16:25:00.000-08:002019-05-07T03:35:44.600-07:00THE GOAT PARADE by Peter Dudar<div class="MsoNormal">
Today’s Five Star Author is Peter N Dudar for THE GOAT
PARADE. Wow, this is a mind blowing, intricately woven tale of power, madness
and the general disillusionment of young adults. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There are so many great things about this book: the flavour
of Charles Manson and his cult, the mindlessness of Satanism, the theme, the
plot, the arcs that flow in all directions in a tight, controlled and well
thought out manner, the characters, even the bad ones, but specially the one
with the tortured soul, a kindred spirit of Robert Johnson. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I loved Erik Marsh, a divorced journalist working the crime
beat who wants to make a change. Covering grizzly murders and dealing with the
dregs of society cost him his marriage, and is creating havoc with his mind. All
he wants is a normal life and time with his son, Owen. He meets a Gypsy
princess, who has a horrific backstory, and they develop an acquaintance. But,
is it for good or for evil? Svetlana has a gift. With the touch of her hand,
she can read your soul. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And then there’s Owen, a sweet kid caught in the clutches of
nihilistic, megalomaniac and his harem of meth soaked, human carcasses. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The ending shook me. This is the first time in all five
decades of reading, that an ending skewered me. I have read thousands of books and
this is the only time an ending has wanted me to scream. Not in anger, but in
the sheer horror. I think that’s what set this book apart from anything else I
have read. The talent and genius of this book has got to be studied by anyone
who thinks they know what it is like to write well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This book was amazing from start to finish. Dudar is not one
to be messed with. He can hold his own in the horror world, and, I suspect,
will go far. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p>https://www.amazon.com/Goat-Parade-Peter-N-Dudar-ebook/dp/B079WHPXLF/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1519950278&sr=8-1&keywords=the+goat+parade</o:p></div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-3978637637380417732018-02-10T12:06:00.001-08:002019-05-07T03:53:58.586-07:00Let's Talk, Ten Days LaterStress has kicked up a notch and again, I did not put two and two together. I'm a simple girl sometimes. My left eye has been twitching up a storm for the past week and my right arm and hand are numb. IBS has come back with a vengeance. And all because I forgot about where I was 8 years ago today. <br />
<br />
Mind you, the stress of the Year from Hell, 2017, helped as well. We shall never talk of that year again. I want a do-over in many areas of my life. But I did the best I could, considering.<br />
<br />
September, nine years ago I started having weird headaches, localized over my left eye, old twitchy I call him now. September 13, 2008, I had this sharp, stabbing pain in that very same spot and the pain got worse with each heartbeat. Actually, it was in time with my heartbeat. And the pain grew worse with each pulse. <br />
<br />
Took some Advil, Tylenol, Gravol a couple of muscle relaxants, and went back to bed. Called my doc, and made excuses as to what was happening. She decided I should get an MRI. It would take five months.<br />
<br />
October 23, 2008, it happened again, only this time it felt like an icepick was driven into my head right above my left eye, and the left side of my neck was screaming. I remember not being able to shoulder check for almost two years because of the pain. To this day, range of motion has still not returned. <br />
<br />
Did the same cocktail of meds, called in sick, called my husband and told him if the headache did not go away in twenty minutes I would get a friend to drive me to the hospital. And went back to bed. <br />
<br />
I was drooling (still do actually, but now it's fun....) slurring my words, stumbling. Still did not make the connection. Intense pain will do that. Shortens the ability of the neo cortex to make rational decisions.<br />
<br />
A couple more months go by and the pain would happen over my eye when I laughed, coughed, or sneezed. These are called exertion headaches. Only in my case, my brain was bleeding. I did not know this.<br />
<br />
Had the MRI and a few days later got called into the Neurologist's office. He says, straight forward, "You have a brain aneurysm, now let's talk about those migraines." The way he said it,I thought, huh, no big deal. We're talking migraines.<br />
<br />
He made a referral, to what I found out later, to the BEST Neurosurgeon in North America, who happened to be practising here in Winnipeg. Four days later, Dr. West had a miracle cancellation. I saw him over lunch. Again, I thought 30 minute appointment, discuss options, maybe see him in 6 months, get on with life.<br />
<br />
Should have recognized what the word URGENT in big red letters meant across my folder. We talked. He asked questions. I couldn't concentrate on the answer unless my eyes were closed to reduce the stimulus. Apparently I gave all the right, or wrong answers, depending on your point of view and I had an angiogram within a couple of hours. <br />
<br />
I still assumed I would be going home. I didn't. Was hospitalized and bumped 19 neurosurgeries, the only exception being a pregnant women.<br />
<br />
Even while being in the hospital, it still did not occur to me what was going on. I blame it on the bleeding in my brain and not my lack of medical knowledge or mental capacity. My brain had been bleeding off and on for five months.<br />
<br />
The anaesthesiologist came in at 11:00 am. And that's when it hit. I was going in for brain surgery today. Not six months from now. Today. In a matter of hours. <br />
<br />
What should have been a two hour surgery took five and a half hours. No one bothered to let my husband know. He was told two hours. I cannot imagine the hell he went through, the questions he had the sheer terror of not knowing what was happening, if I was even alive.<br />
<br />
It would be another two months when Dr. West told me I had a 15% survival rate. If this had happened five years earlier, I would have died. Had I not gone to the doctor and her insisting upon an MRI, I would have died. <br />
<br />
In 2008, all I knew of brain aneurysms is, if they rupture, that's it. Game over. You lose. I had never heard of anyone surviving a rupture. I survived two. Don't know why. And I still think about that. Why me? It's not survivor's guilt, because I have no guilt, just a curiosity about why I survived. Timing, the right place to be, the best neurosurgeon, a great call by my doctor all came into play.<br />
<br />
The next 18 months were bliss. I was at peace. I was calm. I had intense lucid dreams, and intense spiritual experience and I was happy. Then August of 2012, I was diagnosed with a daughter aneurysm, one that shares the same artery and wall as the original. And my world blew apart. <br />
<br />
I already had severe PTSD from a soul crippling childhood, now it kicked into overdrive and became C-PTSD, C for complex, compound PTSD. Six years later it still has not diminished.<br />
<br />
I have, however, learned to tame it.....to an extent. Old twitchy reminds me, my numbness in my arms reminds me, and now my chronic IBS reminds me. Any kind of stress is bad. Yes, all you fitness and doctors that espouse eustress is good, I'm here to tell you, it's not.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Meditation, yoga, walking, talking, music, being alone, driving fast, and Netflix binging all helps. Some days, however, life is a Bittersweet Symphony. A myriad of thoughts run through my brain on any given day; how long till I die, when should I retire, should I eat today, what's the point, hey, that's a really great car, damn I love Olle, I need a Boston Terrier named MonkeyPooper....did I mention I also have ADD. Or as Olle calls it, Another Damn Day.<br />
<br />
So, let's talk. One in 50 will develop a brain aneurysm. Out of the 50, 20 will rupture. Out of the 20, 16 will die. <br />
<br />
Hospitals in Winnipeg are terrible for diagnosing brain aneurysms in women. One died on the floor in the ER at the Grace a few years ago. She was screaming, lying on the floor and no one took her seriously. <br />
<br />
I was at the ER a few years back, waiting in the hallway, when a doctor in his mid thirties sarcastically announces to the nurse sitting behind the desk, that a woman walked in complaining of a severe headache and he "Kicked her out, like a boss," while fist pumping the air, and I thought you stupid bastard. I wonder what happened to her.....<br />
<br />
November 16, 2017, a senior woman almost died in St. Boniface after waiting in the ER, with a severe headache and and eyelid that drooped. They gave her two CT scans, one with dye, and told her she was fine. Four day later, she could not open her eye, went to Misercordia Hospital, and gave her another couple of CT scans and told her she was fine. Thankfully, she called her family doctor who told her to immediately go to the Health Sciences Centre and they found the aneurysm. She had surgery and made it. <br />
<br />
So I guess my question is, why are ER's so bad at this? I always assumed to be an ER doctor, you had to know your stuff, you had to be aware of all the terrible things that can happen to a human, and now I am wondering if the reverse is true. <br />
<br />
I am also wondering if men are treated differently than women (saying that sarcastically) and why women are still being ignored when coming in with medical issues. Curiously, I haven't heard of anything like this happening to men in Winnipeg. Yup, they did CT scans and the CT scan came out clean. Makes me wonder if maybe CT scans are not all that wonderful for brain aneurysms. Considering 1 in 50, that terrifies me. <br />
<br />
I wear a medic alert bracelet that says TAKE ONLY TO HSC because I do not want to become a statistic. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I also let others know what to look for, where to go, what questions to ask and what resources are out there. When this happened 8 years ago, there were few places in Winnipeg and even less resources for information. I walked out of the hospital with a one page paper telling me to take Aspirin for 8 weeks. Nothing else. Nothing on when I could work again, drive, what to look for, what I should avoid, what was normal, what was critical, nothing. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now at least there is information for people that want answers, and research. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Does life get better? I'm going to say yes. At least I hope so. So today will be meloncholy, and tomorrow I will move on. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Check out the link below for more info. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Peace, Love and be good to yourself.<br />
<br />
<br />
https://www.bafound.org/about-brain-aneurysms/brain-aneurysm-basics/warning-signs-symptoms/</div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-33093427991937919452018-01-27T11:02:00.000-08:002019-05-07T03:55:18.894-07:00Let's Talk....The Redux<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="98mtc-0-0" style="color: #373e4d; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="98mtc-0-0">January 31, 2018 is Bell Let's Talk Day. Every day should be a Let's Talk Day. Or at least a Let's Be Open-Minded Day. Being a horror writer has been a blessing for me. It kept me sane, grounded and allowed me to disappear within a world I had control over, where no one could touch me and I was safe. It is that same refuge for me today. I am one of the lucky ones. That does not mean my life is easy or that every day is a picnic. Dealing with a brain injury that caused brain damage juxtaposed with depression, compound complex PTSD and three or four auto-immune diseases has been...interesting. And that's okay. It just means I get to read the same book 12 times and still be surprised. And I get to sit in the new bathroom for hours watching the beautiful floor and backsplash. </span><br />
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<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0">In the horror community, there are many of us that struggle with depression, severe, crippling, clinical depression. There are others that battle BiPolar issues, PTSD, mental illness brought on by chronic illness and pain and sometimes, all of the above. Some of us give up. Some turn to drugs or alcohol. Others sabotage themselves so they can beat themselves up and say, "See, I told you you were a loser."</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0"><br /></span><span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0">Mental Illness comes from a variety of issues; some are chemical imbalances, others are herediatry and some are brought on by severe childhood abuse, trauma, and soul sucking treatment by the hands of those that love us. Does this make it any easier? Nope. But maybe, just maybe if we stopped treating children as throw away, disposable items while we only think of our own selfish needs, such as drug addictions, pedaphile addictions, alcohol abuse or parents that create kids and bail, we wouldn't need a Let's Talk Day. </span><br />
<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0"><br /></span><span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0">I bet that if child abuse ended today, and we really believed for one minute that children are the future pap, most of our mental health issues would disappear overnight, along with the majority of stress related diseases like fibromyalgia, and IBS. Yes, mental illness would still exist because of genetic issues, but I truly believe the majority of us were broken as kids by people who 'loved us'. </span><br />
<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0"><br /></span>
<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0">If 90% of all medical, physical illness is caused by stress, I believe that 90% of all mental illness is caused by child abuse, childhood trauma, or situational trauma. </span><br />
<span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0"><br /></span><span data-offset-key="8um8i-0-0">Superbowl Sunday is coming up, or as I call it, the best day of the year for human trafficking. How many of those kids are dealing with mental illness because someone is making a buck off of their backs? Most of those kids will be lucky to make it out alive, let alone, whole. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9mlin-0-0">Mental illness is just as debilitating and just as challenging as living with Crohn's, diabetes, or Downs Syndrome. Sometimes even more so. But, unfortunately there is a stigma to mental illness that doesn't transfer to any other condition.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="8o4q6-0-0">Mental illness means you are weak, pathetic, stupid, lazy or violent. Mental illness makes you less than a person and more of an object of scorn. People who commit suicide are selfish. Cops, soldiers and others with PTSD are not to be trusted. They could snap at any minute. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ag6u3-0-0">Isn't it incredible that you can break your leg and people will support you, open doors for you, run errands for you, but break your mind, and your world empties of people you thought loved and cared for you. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="dltf5-0-0">How many times have you heard, "Snap out of it; get some exercise; quit feeling sorry for yourself; if you really wanted to (______) you would, you're just lazy"?</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="518hf-0-0">We would never dream of saying these things to an Autistic, blind or deaf person, but feel it is justified in attacking the mentally ill. I often wondered why? Is it something they think is contagious? Does it make them feel superior that they have never suffered from a 'weak mind'? Or is it coming from a place of anger where they feel the person struggling with this is seeking attention?</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="518hf-0-0"><br /></span>
<span data-offset-key="518hf-0-0">And on the contrary, people with a mental illness have a strong mind. A very strong mind that is trying to protect them and keep them whole. There is no weakness with mental illness except for those that use it as a crutch. And yup, they exist. Just like some people with disabilities use it as a crutch for why they cannot perform their job. They exist as well. Fortunately, those people are in a very tiny minority. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="518hf-0-0"><span data-offset-key="861vp-0-0"><span data-text="true">So, on this mental illness let's talk and be friends day, I say share embrace your pain, accept your darkness, live in the moment. If you feel like crap, accept it. Think about it mindfully for five minutes. Really feel what it is like to be you, instead of trying to smile and put up with it. And then, after five minutes of examining your emotions, tell yourself, "I accept this about me and I am still a good person. I will do everything I can, regardless of my demons because I get to win." </span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7b41h-0-0"><span data-text="true">Wash, Rinse, Repeat.</span></span></div>
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Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-49841008049163117662018-01-14T13:03:00.003-08:002019-05-07T04:00:38.626-07:00Meteroite StrikesWow, another world wind of a week, month, life. I know we all deal with problems and we all feel alone when we are in the midst of anything troubling in our lives. The past couple of weeks has been no exception to this for me and my family.<br />
<br />
We struggle with mental illness. At some point you will meet someone, love someone, give birth to someone, parent someone have parents, brothers, sisters, in-laws etc, with a mental illness or a multitude of mental illnesses. Life doesn't stop and you do not get a do over card. The line has been crossed from normal, everyday life to crisis in all of a few moments.<br />
<br />
How do you respond? I know as a parent, I did not do well for a multitude of reasons, my own state of mind, my own physical illness and lack of energy, and just having enough to deal with on a day to day basis by having three children within a three year life span. All you moms out there are nodding your heads. You get it. You work full time, have three kids you love beyond reason, you may be struggling with depression and Fibromyalgia as I was, plus you still have a home to run, appointments to get to, school work to monitor and teach (more about that later), family commitments, trying to sell a house and BOOM.....one child struggles and starts acting out, another threatens to run away from home and the third is dealing with his own hell because of Autism.<br />
<br />
It was a low, low point in my life. I struggled with anger, frustration, compassion, and right back to anger again. My husband and I both came from abusive backgrounds in our childhoods. Mine more so than his, although abuse is abuse and the effects never go away. Ever.<br />
<br />
When we met, we swore if we had kids we would treat them with respect and love and teach them values and have open communication with them. And we did. We had the family suppers (my husband rarely had experience with that growing up), I walked the kids to and from school four times a day, made lunches, and we talked, we had love and hope and things seemed normal. At least to me. We struggled with money (who doesn't) but we never tried to let that affect the kids. We gave them what we could. I took up knitting and sewing to save on clothes. Our house was<i> the house </i>in the neighbourhood that was always filled with kids. We had enormous sleepovers and friends coming through and I thought it was fine. Except it wasn't. I had no idea the the normal teenage hormones and moodiness was not normal, but actually depression. I misread the signs. I thought the acting out, the over sensitiveness, the temper tantrums were a normal reaction to what was going on in the teenage body.<br />
<br />
At the same time, the kids grew more distant and relied on their peers for guidance and advice and turned away from us, as parents. Wow, did that hurt. And nope, I did not see that coming. I was under the misguided impression that if you raised your kids right, showed them love and respect, that everything would turn out great. I know from my own childhood of severe, daily chronic abuse, lies, deceit and humiliation, that that was not the way to raise healthy people. So I fought my own demons, while trying to raise our children in a healthy manner. That is where the anger kicked in. Our children had a family that loved and respected them and still it was not enough. Where did I fail? How did I not see the inevitable train wreck that was in the forefront all the time? How did I miss the one moment that could have changed a loving family into one that wasn't speaking to each other? Where was the village to help me raise my child?<br />
<br />
The schools offered no help whatsoever. Neither did the psychiatric profession, when we were finally able to access their services. And the police were the catalyst that got my son into a treatment facility. That went okay for about a minute. And then life just spiralled out of control. My depression came back a thousand fold. I could not help myself or my children and I felt like a complete idiot for not knowing what the next step was, or even where to find the damn portal to the next step. I was angry, frustrated, sad, disappointed and deeply hurt.<br />
<br />
My husband turned to silence. It was the only way to reign in the anger, because if he spoke, he would lose it. So, instead of causing further damage and for fear of having our children run away from home, we walked on eggshells around each other and them. We hardly spoke, I cried every single night trying to rack my brain on how to fix THIS. But, there was no fix. There was no amount of talking, therapy, medication or intervention that helped. All there was, was time. Awkward, angry, stress filled time that lead to more damage and more ruined moments.<br />
<br />
Jump ahead three decades and we are right back to that spot. My granddaughter deals with depression and suicidal ideation, and I feel like I have learned nothing, and I feel like I will never have a normal, happy life. It's all one big train wreck waiting to happen all over again.<br />
<br />
The anger came back, the fear, the frustration. I have always said I have wanted to run away more times as an adult than I ever did growing up. And I thought about that daily.<br />
<br />
We, as a society have failed miserably over the past four decades at raising strong, healthy people. Our mental health system is a failure. Our Justice system is a failure. And our medical system is a failure, and our education system is a failure. Not to mention our own families.<br />
<br />
Growing up in a small town or village, everyone knows everyone else's business. We were like that growing up on military bases living in PMQ's (Personnel Married Quarters). It was our insulation from the world. We had an entire community looking after our kids. And then the PMQ's were sold and became privatized. One connection and link that brought everyone together was now severed.<br />
<br />
We moved into civilian life. We went from a social support system to a place where no one knew who we were or cared. The schools placed more work on us by having our already strained times together now a battle field where we, as the parents were expected to teach our children what the schools did not have the time or the resources to teach. Guess what? We didn't either. We neither had the skills or the education to teach what our kids needed to know.<br />
<br />
The mental health system could not fix our problems because the acting out and threatening to run away was not a priority for them. And it took months to get any kind of help. By that time the damage had already been done. We did not have grand parents or aunts and uncles to help. We did not have the school support, and now mental health services was no option. What little they did provide did nothing to help the brokenness we had become.<br />
<br />
The inevitable happened and things became so much worse. Our children derailed. And I felt like a trauma surgeon in the desert using string and gum to stop the hemmoraging while another patient lay dying on the next table. I felt like the universe was one colossal joke right from the start.<br />
<br />
BAM, here have a severley abusive stepfather and helpless, non-existent mother. BAM, get torn from your native land and move to a foreign country, lose your native language, learn English and forget about your culture and lose all your family back home. BAM, deal with severe sexual childhood abuse from the age of three to 18, and have zero support or help, but maintain your grades and keep that smile on your face or the beatings will continue. Run away from home at 17. BAM, here now you are pregnant at 20 (by choice) but now this is going to kick in your fear, flight and fight response into overdrive because of said childhood, but you had no idea this was going to happen. BAM, have a mental illness that you cannot climb out of for any amount of want or wishing. BAM, throw in a military move to the very community where your abusive parents live and they want access to your little girl. BAM, throw in severe post partum depression following the third child.<br />
<br />
Life coasted until the kids hit puberty, then the meterites struck once more. BAM, your child is Autistic and will never be a fully functional adult. BAM, your other child has severe ADHD and we cannot help him. BAM, your third child is going through PUBERTY FROM HELL, but carry on. BAM, one of your children is being beat by their partner. BAM, have fibromyalgia, BAM, teenage pregnancy, BAM another teenage pregnancy, BAM, have another child turn to alcohol and become self destructive. BAM, lose your job.......coast....BAM have a brian aneurysm. BAM, son is now in an abusive situation with his partner......BAM, raise two more children after thinking this was your time togeher with your husband......it never ended.<br />
<br />
I fought every single day for myself, my children, my marriage and my sanity. I was rushing from one fire to another, one trauma to another, and I felt I was doing it on my own. There was no outside intervention for me. My child who was being abused by their partner was told to have a restraining order. We all know how that works. It doesn't. Every two hours, another women is murdered while having a restraining order in her purse. Every two hours. Around the clock. Thankfully, my child survived that horrendous ordeal. But then my son was in an abusive relationship. He fixed that after years of trying, to no avail, to fix her and himself. Countless hours and time we would have one or both crying on our couch, at the same time they were going through therapy. The marriage ended. He moved on. But he also moveed onto another abusive relationship. I lost him three years ago.<br />
<br />
Now, here today we struggle with a 15 year old who wants to die. And it kills me. Every square inch of my body feels like it has been scraped raw with a serrated knife. But something positive has happened. I have learned a lot in the past five decades. I have studied and taken courses and worked with mental health issues to help others. And while I am tentaivley hopeful, I am not 100% safe. I do not think I will ever be safe. Or have a life where I wake up and feel, hey this is okay. It finally took the help of medical science and natural drugs to get to a point where I am no longer depressed on a daily basis, but that was a short lived, three month reprieve. With this new generation of mental illness, I am not depressed, but merely surviving. And waiting.<br />
<br />
I talk with my grandchild. Give her coping skills I never had to give to my children, and she is staying with us. We have mental health intervention...in a month. Wow, nothing has changed. And I hang on by my fingernails waiting for the next meteor to strike.<br />
<br />
A few things are different. I am much older and much more tired. I am much stronger. I have many more skills. But I wonder if this will ever become the fairy tale life I envisioned. I am beginnig to lose hope. I think my fairy Godmother is drunk, or on Meth. My Guardian Angels are watching movies and binge drinking, and the Universe has told me, quite plainly, that this will be as good as it gets. The good things are my amazing husband, my dogs, I am employed, I have a house, I have food. And I need to remind myself every single moment to never lose sight of the important things in your life. Your love, your kindness, your compassion.<br />
<br />
The other side of this though, is the impact on my work/life balance. Because I need to be so hyper vigilant and sensitive at home, at work, I do not have the pateinve to deal with issues and problems in the workplace. I struggle. I do not suffer fools in the workplace. Or excuses, or laziness. I have zero patience for stupidity or endless reasons about why you cannot finish a project on time, on budget and on scope. My life at home leeches into work and I am all out of spoons. I know I need to get a grip on that, and I fight every single day not to give in the "What the hell is wrong with you" speech that I say it in my head.<br />
<br />
Fortunatley I had the amazing opportunity to take a course about difficult conversations. It was an incredible experience and will give me more tools to reign in the monster that demands perfection at work, but more so, it gives me the skills to adress important issues without resorting to violence. No, not the stabby kind of violence, but the violence as in sarcasm, frustration, abrasiveness, and low tolerance for bad behaviour. Instead, it allows me to speak to individuals about issues I see, and about accountability.<br />
<br />
This is a real coup. Because of the way I was raised, I can smell BS a mile away. I can see behaviours that others write off as benefit of the doubt. I can read the body language of manipulation and, hopefully now have a way to adress it without the other person resorting to the coping skills of their childhood. The benefit of this course is you are the only one that needs to take this in order for it to work. And I think this will pay off in spades. I used it with my grandchild. I will use it at work, and I use it in my practise with trauma survivors.<br />
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All I know is we are all alone. We may think we are together and have support systems in place, but in the grand scheme of things I have learned we are born alone, we live with mental illness alone and we will die alone.<br />
<br />
Today, I am okay with that.<br />
<br />
PeaceMalina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-63136478329415456942018-01-01T08:16:00.001-08:002019-05-07T03:35:44.666-07:00The Solstice List© 2017 The Best of Horror<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #1d2129; direction: ltr; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px auto 28px; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 700px; word-wrap: break-word;">
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<br>
What is horror? For me it is unlike any other genre of writing. Horror is an emotion. Itis not tangible. It is something felt in the back of your mind, and in the base of your spine. It creeps up on you gently, lovingly, one step at a time. You flinch and it backs off to give some breathing room and then starts the journey once more. It takes you in to envelop you in a cocoon of safety, before you see the fangs, and the darkness hits. No other genre creates such raw, powerful, visceral responses as horror, and that leads me to my second circumspect view. <br>
<br>
<br>
What is considered horror? Does criminal psychology fall into this category? <br>
Fears? Phobias? Everyday life? My background in studying human behaviour for<br>
<div>
the past four decades, psychiatry, psychology, and more specifically, psychopathy and sociopathy,<br>
leads me to give this question a resounding yes. </div>
<div>
<br>
Criminal behaviour and psychopathy definitely fits the horror motif.Any normal parent that raises a psychopathic kid will tell you, evil exists.<br>
<br>
And yes, the professors and doctors will state emphatically that children cannot be<br>
psychopaths. They are wrong. Psychopathycan be witnessed in kids as young as six<br>
and by the timethey are teens, they are well on their way leaving a path of<br>
destruction and chaos behind.<br>
<br>
As a kid I devoured books on vampires and werewolves. I was not a big fan of mummies, but Egyptology held me spellbound for days.The idea of being buried alive next to the King fascinated and horrified me at the same time. I could picture vividly, the dead king tomb,<br>
waiting to die.<br>
<br>
Being raised Catholic for six short years really instilled my fear of demons and Satan. Whatever you say about Religion or Catholicism,it can raise the most amount of fear in the shortest time frame. Having extrapolated myself from the Catholic Church by the time I was seven because of the misogyny and patriarchal views, five decades later, I still fear and am attracted to the Rite of Exorcism. The fingers of the Church run deep. I admit, these stories always hold a special part in my heart.<br>
<br>
This year’s list has some special people on it; people I love to read and admire and have grown very fond of personally, and to my great delight, people I have never read before.<br>
I started The Solstice List© six years ago. I was new to the Horror Writer’s Association and it always bothered me that only certain authors were getting recognized. I understand the association has their rules, and rightfully so. But I was reading all these great books by unrecognizable people and it bothered me they were not getting the recognition they deserved. Some did not belong the HWA, and others didn’t know about the HWA. And some of these books were published in the past so were not eligible for the HWA.<br>
<br>
I wanted a forum to recognize great writers regardless of publishing date, so I created this list to honour those writers. I had a few rules: must be edited and must hold my interest (yup, that’s subjective). I read a lot, and if get caught up in the grammatical errors, typos and plot holes, I lose interest real quick.<br>
<br>
What turned me off were writers saying ‘hey I got this book, don’t have time to edit it, but buy it anyway.’ As an Indie book lover, for the love of all that is holy, do not think you are the only writer that does not need editing. For, my love, we all do.<br>
<br>
<br>
The Solstice List© 2017 The Best Horror Not to Be Missed. <br>
<br>
<br>
NOVELS<br>
<br>
<br>
1. ED AND LORRAINE WARREN IN A DARK PLACE: Ray GARTON<br>
<br>
<br>
The story of the most terrifying case of demonic possession in the United <br>
States. It became the basis for the hit film “The Haunting in Connecticut”<br>
starring Virginia Madsen.<br>
<br>
Shortly after moving into their new home, the Snedeker family is assaulted by a sinister presence that preys one-by-one on their family. Exhausting all other resources, they call up the world-renowned demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren—who have never encountered a case as frightening as this…<br>
<br>
No one had warned the Snedekers their new house used to be an old funeral home. Their battle with an inexplicable and savage phenomena had only just begun. What started as a simple “poltergeist” escalated into a full-scale war, an average<br>
<br>
American family battling the deepest, darkest forces of evil—a war this family could not afford to lose.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FDark-Place-Lorraine-Warren-2014-12-02%2Fdp%2FB017PO8WIA%2Fref%3Dsr_1_3%3Fie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514753866%26sr%3D8-3%26keywords%3Dray%2Bgarton%2BEd%2Band%2BLorraine%2BWarren&h=ATMIb6wCQfh_chmwlt4aX50Oz1YveGuPAg7ybLBCTJulHjbmBfaO-bmZ7t2FdS8FA23H2Gl2b4AEjrSo3wsv_YkrQDOUPgXuhCLjya5LCPHQhumT9NfRWLx2W6AOxevEzx3FgnVJ7aQBfXJq">https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Place-Lorraine-Warren-2014-12-02/dp/B017PO8WIA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1514753866&sr=8-3&keywords=ray+garton+Ed+and+Lorraine+Warren</a><br>
<br>
<br>
2. PIG: Craig SAUNDERS and Edward LORN<br>
<br>
<br>
Pointvilla...<br>
A quiet town, the kind of place old folk go to watch the sea roll in and the years roll out.<br>
The kind of place guys like the man in the pig mask can make an easy dime, or an easy<br>
killing.<br>
An ancient entity...<br>
An inhuman intelligence crawls up the shore and sprawls over Pointvilla. A thing<br>
capable of stealing bodies, and drawing minds into one, into it - the MIND. An<br>
intelligence pulling Pig Mask inward as others swirl around Pig himself, like he’s a<br>
planet, a force, and the rest are drawn by gravity.<br>
<br>
<br>
Brothers...<br>
Ray and Bill are kin. The entity might understand loneliness, and the drive to<br>
consume and kill and torment...but it doesn’t understand brothers and sisters.<br>
It doesn’t understand siblings. Some people are tied together by more than blood.<br>
In a town at one with the Mind, survival comes down to brothers and sisters<br>
and old dudes with a penchant for good weed.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FPig-Survival-Horror-Craig-Saunders-ebook%2Fdp%2FB073Z89GG6%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514754100%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dpig%2Bcraig%2Bsaunders&h=ATNFkT_YJ6sXLwH50HkWLNH3Xz1jimwSSvf4fB2CTirOFT4Sdsqi861ugaUqaF4JWKEcMj-hWxipOWQJt4ofOQ0BfXEgqQC6Jbt2scK84puv9K0GD5PmwD017bacPBDGUHEuqjjB4_oa1yXB">https://www.amazon.com/Pig-Survival-Horror-Craig-Saunders-ebook/dp/B073Z89GG6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754100&sr=1-1&keywords=pig+craig+saunders</a><br>
<br>
<br>
3. THE NIGHTLY DISEASE: Max BOOTH III<br>
<br>
<br>
Sleep is just a myth created by mattress salesmen. Isaac, a night auditor of a hotel <br>
somewhere in the surreal void of Texas, is sick and tired of his guests. When he<br>
clocks in at night, he’s hoping for a nice, quiet eight hours of Netflix-bingeing and occasional masturbation. What he doesn’t want to do is fetch anybody extra towels or dive face-first into<br>
somebody’s clogged toilet. And he sure as hell doesn’t want to get involved in some trippy owl conspiracy or dispose of any dead bodies. But hey…that’s life in the hotel business.<br>
<br>
Welcome to The Nightly Disease. Please enjoy your stay.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fs%2Fref%3Dnb_sb_ss_i_1_12%3Furl%3Dsearch-alias%253Ddigital-text%26field-keywords%3Dthe%2Bnightly%2Bdisease%26sprefix%3Dthe%2Bnightly%2B%252Cdigital-text%252C202%26crid%3D1MWE1E8JEP5J1&h=ATNeHV4Ch2kLHLMuP1CLaNPFV2YvyMV8V8tNjzkPKS3o_ja3r1bIuvAbhmthIxKDvJaRD_BGji83R_otUVol4aJNI1UpYYdGnHTrffls1_6uRd0wYBXK_ikDlvQ-cO9WvMjP7_bBrBk5Wp3T" id="id_e326_b055_d93a_bf9b">https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_12?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=the+nightly+disease&sprefix=the+nightly+%2Cdigital-text%2C202&crid=1MWE1E8JEP5J1</a><br>
<br>
<br>
4. BURIED IN BLUE CLAY: LL SOARES<br>
<br>
Reddy Soames, has arrived in Blue Clay, Massachusetts to write a book about the local urban legends. He's been communicating with several people by email that he thinks are crackpots, with the intention of interviewing them. But soon, the book becomes secondary, as he enters the orbit of a<br>
mysterious guy who goes by the initials HEK.<br>
<br>
HEK is something of an underground legend, and it seems like he has a hand in everything that goes on in Blue Clay, behind the scenes. After a while, it becomes clear to Reddy that HEK is grooming him for some future role.<br>
Along the way, the secrets of Blue Clay are opened up for Reddy, as he becomes aware of the truth behind the legends. A truth he will wish he never unearthed.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FBuried-Blue-Clay-Unpredictable-Bizarro-ebook%2Fdp%2FB06XYFF21F%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514754603%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dburied%2Bin%2Bblue%2Bclay&h=ATMCa6Ukf-QlKay3VGQzg-W1b6JLrl3nrrTgUAjeha8kTVPP6ULEV3LAyKeSCQ8KqLfi8-P5H_KlmG0c9EUUrh2tdysUXdn8-3uz5rpvVJySdnf0ALx7BvJv1K3war4IVM-n1xyNFTPZ6GG-">https://www.amazon.com/Buried-Blue-Clay-Unpredictable-Bizarro-ebook/dp/B06XYFF21F/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754603&sr=1-1&keywords=buried+in+blue+clay</a><br>
<br>
<br>
5. SINKHOLE: Kenneth GOLDMAN<br>
<br>
<br>
The slug-like Wogslȗk are in your head. Oh, maybe a familiar song might connect you with what little remains of your former self while your brain dissolves on its stem. But in the end the creatures will have you and all your memories too -- and they’ll have your soul in the bargain.<br>
<br>
But young Zachary and his beautiful stripper pal, Tiffany, know what lurks beneath the cul-de-sac called Diamond Loop, and they know of others who had discovered the Wogslȗk many years earlier in a small New Mexico town.<br>
<br>
They know how it ended for them. Now the Wogslȗk have returned. They’re stronger, they’re smarter, and they’re determined to get inside your head.<br>
<br>
Sing if you must. It may seem your last chance.<br>
But it won’t help...<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSinkhole-Ken-Goldman-ebook%2Fdp%2FB074J25TWX%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514754385%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dsinkhole&h=ATOnS9WhkgU6bE4aZD2kIBh1Q3jxU04VXrShy7ZVptqVpW5iRjAN-S_o1W5OeoL1nL2Y3NhZqP7x7-514zqJkzIDn6iqqpRuSX2GjttUA_pDZuHpG5NtmWi35VITIC2IyPT0EBwdagDZvJfu">https://www.amazon.com/Sinkhole-Ken-Goldman-ebook/dp/B074J25TWX/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754385&sr=1-1&keywords=sinkhole</a><br>
<br>
<br>
6. THE UNFLESHED: THE TALE OF THE AUOPSIC BRIDE: Lisa VASQUEZ<br>
<br>
<br>
Young Morrigan, the daughter of a local aristocrat, is full of innocence and life. Angus Wulfe is an eccentric and devious doctor who stalks her while he cultivates a plan to win her affection. Their two worlds collide in a grisly twist of fate when the Plague arrives on the shores of their town.<br>
<br>
With no cure in sight, and bodies dropping incrementally every day, the doctor uses his influence, along with his reputation in medical advances - stemming from his clandestine and macabre experiments-to manipulate Morrigan’s father. In return for her hand in marriage, the doctor would save her life. Clinging to life, Morrigan begins to feel a change. Has the doctor cured her, or did her father make a deal with the Devil?<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Unfleshed-Tale-Autopsic-Bride-ebook/dp/B01MR8L757/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754764&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=THE+UNLEASHED+THE+TALE+OF+THE+AUTOPSIC+BRIDE">https://www.amazon.com/Unfleshed-Tale-Autopsic-Bride-ebook/dp/B01MR8L757/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754764&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=THE+UNLEASHED+THE+TALE+OF+THE+AUTOPSIC+BRIDE</a><br>
<br>
<br>
7. LEERY LANE: Lori R. LOPEZ<br>
<br>
<br>
Have you ever kept a secret from even yourself? On one rainless electric night, Frieda Noff will learn the truth about her past, her relationship with her sister, and her hometown’s darkest secrets. It is All Hallows again, twenty years after she went down that fateful gauntlet of haunted houses as a<br>
Trick-Or-Treater. She’s finally back, perhaps to stay this time.<br>
<br>
A young woman is confronted by the ghosts of her demons when she must return to Leery Lane, the dead-end where she lost an important piece in the puzzle of her past. She and her sibling haven’t spoken in two decades, since that terrible Halloween when Frieda borrowed something that<br>
belonged to Francine without permission. She feels that she needs to remember what it was and find the object of contention, somewhere in a row of decrepit Victorians, to repair the rift between sisters. But some secrets are better left buried. A witty blend of Gothic Horror, Humor, Supernatural and<br>
Mystery, Leery Lane is a ghost story to curl up with and savor. Take a walk you won’t be able to forget on the creepy side of town . . .<br>
<br>
Look for an Illustrated Print Edition with macabre artwork by the author!<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leery-Lane-Lori-R-Lopez-ebook/dp/B01M5FJFQD/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514755775&sr=8-1&keywords=leery+lane+lori+r+lopez">https://www.amazon.com/Leery-Lane-Lori-R-Lopez-ebook/dp/B01M5FJFQD/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514755775&sr=8-1&keywords=leery+lane+lori+r+lopez</a><br>
<br>
<br>
NOVELLAS<br>
<br>
<br>
1. BLOODEYE: Craig SAUNDERS<br>
<br>
<br>
Keane Reid is tired of living. He's bored life ever since the mysterious death of his wife seven years earlier...but when he's called to a routine job at a local pub, he discovers the corpse of a young girl<br>
crucified and nailed to a wall, her eyes torn out and a third eye carved into her forehead. Keane's seen this mark before, and soon his life is thrust between the present and past, reality and fantasy, darkness<br>
and light. As Keane loses his grip on sanity, a long-forgotten shadow begins whispering to him once again, ushering him toward the void, where the ghosts of his past reside, waiting to show him<br>
what truly lies behind the veil.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bloodeye-Craig-Saunders-ebook/dp/B077B9NT2X/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754953&sr=1-1&keywords=BLOODEYE+CRAIG+SAUNDERS">https://www.amazon.com/Bloodeye-Craig-Saunders-ebook/dp/B077B9NT2X/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514754953&sr=1-1&keywords=BLOODEYE+CRAIG+SAUNDERS</a><br>
<br>
<br>
2. RELATIVE YULETIDE: Martin REAVES<br>
<br>
<br>
Christmas. The world has been taken over by festive zombies, but even they won’t eat fruitcake…crap, that’s not it either. Oh wait, I remember!<br>
Nick Grimmer and Alex Tinkham have been through a lot. They’ve seen humanity at its worst. But nothing prepared them for what they were about to witness this Christmas. Relative Yuletide will shock you, and rock you to your core, making you question everything you thought you ever knew. Nah, it won’t do any of those things.<br>
<br>
It’s a story about Christmas. Interesting things happen. <br>
<br>
Look, maybe you should just read it.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Relative-Yuletide-Christmas-Action-without-ebook/dp/B078KNSS3V/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756491&sr=1-1&keywords=relative+yuletide">https://www.amazon.com/Relative-Yuletide-Christmas-Action-without-ebook/dp/B078KNSS3V/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756491&sr=1-1&keywords=relative+yuletide</a><br>
<br>
<br>
3. NIGHT TERRRORS BASED ON TRUE EVENTS: Tim MILLER<br>
<br>
<br>
Lenny used to sleep like a baby, now he can’t sleep at all. What started out as a slew of nightmares, morphed into a real life horror show. At times, standing over him, or moving just out of the corner of his eye.<br>
That thing you didn’t think you saw is real. He is the Shadow Man. He’s always there, always watching. You never know when he will appear to tear apart your reality. There is no escape and no mercy from the blood he will shed.<br>
<br>
This story is a collection of police reports, sightings and Lenny's personal notes and journals as he tries to cope with his Night Terrors.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Night-Terrors-Based-True-Events-ebook/dp/B01MXSS8MO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756575&sr=1-1&keywords=NIGHT+TERRORS+TIM+MILLER">https://www.amazon.com/Night-Terrors-Based-True-Events-ebook/dp/B01MXSS8MO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756575&sr=1-1&keywords=NIGHT+TERRORS+TIM+MILLER</a><br>
<br>
<br>
ANTHOLOGIES<br>
<br>
<br>
1. KILLING IT SOFTLY 2<br>
<br>
<br>
The Best by Women in Horror<br>
<br>
<br>
The first ‘Killing It Softly’ was just the tip of the iceberg…<br>
<br>
<br>
Beneath the icy depths of this next installment, you’ll be plunged into a world where 38 female horror writers give you a glimpse of their inner-demons, unleashing the hell-fire they suppress in the ‘real’ world. It will disturb you to discover what really lurks inside their minds, because many of these stories delve into pain that can only be experienced by women—leaving you unhinged as you curl up with them during their darkest hour.<br>
<br>
Post-partum depression, hoarding, anorexia, and mental health will be brought to light when viewed through the shadowy perspective of cognitive deception.<br>
<br>
Sci-fi, romance, steam-punk, and fantasy intertwine with horror to deliver unsettling, chilling stories; traditional tales of witches, zombies, werewolves, and vampires will be told in twisted new ways that will shock, unnerve, and even repulse you…and within these pages, sometimes new monsters will arise from the ashes.<br>
<br>
You may even discover that women can not only write good horror…but in some cases, can do it better.<br>
<br>
Part 1 – Another Space, Another Time<br>
The Whims of My Enemy – Amanda J. Spedding<br>
A Moveable Feast – Jenny Blackford<br>
Softly into the Morning – L. D. Colter<br>
Whispers in the Wax – Tonia Brown<br>
The Screaming Key – Lillian Csernica<br>
Framed – Diana Catt<br>
Bloody Rain – Rie Sheridan Rose<br>
The Idlewild Letters – H.R. Boldwood<br>
Kristall Tag – Holly Newstein<br>
The Adventure of My Ignoble Ancestress – Nancy Holder<br>
<br>
Part II – Monster Party<br>
The Devil’s in the Details – Stacey Longo<br>
Octavia – Chantal Boudreau<br>
The Skeench – Debra Robinson<br>
Sandcastle Sacrifices – Jennifer Brozek<br>
Unfilial Child – Laurie Tom<br>
Milk and Cookies – M.J. Sydney<br>
Figaro, Figueroa – Karen Heuler<br>
Scarecrow – Vonnie Winslow Crist<br>
A Great and Terrible Hunger – Elaine Cunningham<br>
<br>
Part III – Cognitive Deception<br>
Belongings – Abra Staffin-Wiebe<br>
Evil Little Girl – Barb Goffman<br>
Blue – Julie Travis<br>
The Devil Inside – Shannon Connor Winward<br>
Shining Brook and the Ice Moon Spirit – Jean Graham<br>
Damaged Goods – Lindsey Goddard<br>
Project Handbasket – Rebecca J. Allred<br>
Behind the Eight Ball – Lena Ng<br>
A Faithful Companion – Deborah Sheldon<br>
Omega – Airika Sneve<br>
<br>
Part IV – The Changed and the Undead<br>
Little Fingers – Christine Morgan<br>
Golden Rule – Donna J. W. Munro<br>
Fifth Sense – Tina Rath<br>
Cycle – Rebecca Fraser<br>
The Hand of God – Gerri Leen<br>
Vile Deeds – Suzie Lockhart<br>
The Holy Spear – Barbara A. Barnett<br>
Skin and Bones – Rebecca Snow<br>
<br>
<br>
Death Warmed Over – Rachel Caine <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FKilling-Softly-Digital-Fiction-Anthology-ebook%2Fdp%2FB076Z44WR7%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514756731%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dkilling%2Bit%2Bsoftly%2B2&h=ATNGsMTaZjbhjtSmlBK7Zni65rI8M_U5IsQtJaxQmf43NjY_-Y5zuvRm4X8zU4_bokTCv8aaYOnGYZB20jfav1cazQ0SaCQ_bO4lxu88tV6NRYpzste4k6neEs1zWf2cDQ3MSJcD0iTGLOTa">https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Softly-Digital-Fiction-Anthology-ebook/dp/B076Z44WR7/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756731&sr=1-1&keywords=killing+it+softly+2</a><br>
<br>
<br>
2. Zippered Flesh 3: Weldon BURGE<br>
<br>
<br>
What horror anthology on body enhancements wouldn’t include gross-out fiction? <br>
This book has it in spades. But, this collection of stories goes far beyond that. Here you will also find science fiction, surreal fiction, fantasy, and even a full serving of dark humor. Disturbing, perverse, often gut-wrenching (pun intended) stories—all between the covers of this anthology!<br>
<br>
Nineteen chilling tales by some of the best horror and suspense writers today. <br>
<br>
Definitely not for the squeamish! <br>
"Hardcore horror that ranges from the socially relevant to the scatologically<br>
repulsive—the shock here is like 'The Scream' made flesh."<br>
— Mort Castle, editor of On Writing Horror:<br>
A Handbook by the Horror Writers Association<br>
<br>
"In Zippered Flesh 3, Editor Weldon Burge has done a masterful job of combining<br>
work from well-known masters like Jack Ketchum and Graham Masterton with<br>
newer writers. But it is the original work by newcomers like L.L. Soares and<br>
Meghan Acuri that stands out for me. ... Highly recommended." —<br>
Gene O'Neill, author of The Hitchhiking Effect: A Retrospective Collection<br>
<br>
"'Closer by Charles Colyott is a wonderfully poignant and romantic story. ...<br>
'Going Green' by Christine Morgan is so original, timely, and well-written it<br>
deserves special mention. ... Kudos to Burge for putting together another fine<br>
anthology of cutting-edge fiction." — Paul Dale Anderson,<br>
author of The Instruments of Death series<br>
<br>
<br>
Billie Sue Mosiman — Horns, Teeth, and Knobs<br>
<br>
Shaun Meeks — Upgraded<br>
<br>
Christine Morgan — Going Green<br>
<br>
Jeff Menapace — Worm<br>
<br>
Adrian Ludens — Reduced to Tears<br>
<br>
William F. Nolan — A New Man<br>
<br>
Jason V. Brock — Transposition<br>
<br>
Jack Ketchum — The Rose<br>
<br>
Daniel I. Russell — Consume<br>
<br>
Jezzy Wolfe — All Will Turn to Gray<br>
<br>
E.A. Black — Invisible<br>
<br>
L.L. Soares — And the Sky Was Full of Angels<br>
<br>
Meghan Arcuri — Shopping Spree<br>
<br>
Charles Colyott — Closer<br>
<br>
Graham Masterton — Dog Days<br>
<br>
Jasper Bark — Switch<br>
<br>
Martin Zeigler — Hypochondria<br>
<br>
Sandra R. Campbell — Gehenna Division, Case #609<br>
<br>
James Dorr — Golden Age<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FZIPPERED-FLESH-MORE-TALES-ENHANCEMENTS-ebook%2Fdp%2FB076BY9ZBL%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514756887%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dzippered%2Bflesh%2B3&h=ATOIbM2yEsV-SfBOCKs62Z6GcOkJmEWaynPeSizv0A30DqVJiKIxBbzP_2AaZVnp3d4WsjB65aQeQkmgNe393ukoIFzz8EHdE9K0EkdVcPCUxqmDdDGakUUow5igwzomGjiTUp0jjvUnrYKb">https://www.amazon.com/ZIPPERED-FLESH-MORE-TALES-ENHANCEMENTS-ebook/dp/B076BY9ZBL/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514756887&sr=1-1&keywords=zippered+flesh+3</a><br>
<br>
<br>
3. TOYS IN THE ATTIC: Mary Genevieve FORTIER<br>
<br>
<br>
Imagine… An old house; one that has stood many generations. WAITING… <br>
You step inside and begin to explore. Was this a good idea? You begin to<br>
doubt, but continue to step deeper within the eerie darkness. Something<br>
stirs above. Should you investigate? Wandering, you reach the second<br>
floor landing. In the center of the upstairs hall, directly above, you<br>
discover a trap door. You know, the one that leads to something so<br>
terrible, you dare not think to touch it, much less attempt to<br>
open the latch! Nevertheless, you are drawn to inspect further.<br>
Something is stirring above… of this, you have no doubt. You stand<br>
upon tiptoe, stretching as far as your fingers will allow, until you grasp the<br>
cord attached to the door. With a loud creaking, it opens, releasing a set<br>
of stairs, descending before you. Gazing up, there is nothing but a black<br>
hole. There! Again! That stirring! Against your better judgement, you<br>
begin to climb. Sweat forms upon your brow with each step, as your<br>
stomach turns sour. Still, you climb. Those few stairs feel an eternity<br>
to ascend. There at the top, nothing. Dark and empty… nothing.<br>
<br>
Your eyes adjust… Wait! Beneath the cobwebs and years of layered<br>
dust, stands a long, wooden chest. Is it locked? Hmmm… You<br>
step within the musty room. There, propped against the side of the<br>
chest, an old metal rod. You pick it up, using it to pry open what<br>
should have been left locked away, eternally. Toys! Old toys!<br>
<br>
Somewhere in the darkness, a melody plays, soft and haunting. <br>
A music box?<br>
NO! A small carousel is moving beside you, its once colorful horses<br>
bobbingin time. You look about. There are toys everywhere! Old,<br>
broken, forgotten toys fill this attic room. A doll, cracked skull,<br>
hairless, limbs askew, stares from behind one eye, the other an<br>
empty, hollow socket. A rocking horse begins to sway in the corner.<br>
<br>
Toy soldiers, their green metal chipped and rusted. How odd; they <br>
appear in battle stance, staring… Suddenly, the trap door closes.<br>
Darkness… the stirring… These toys… You know why they have<br>
been locked away. You stand among evil incarnate. The melody stops.<br>
<br>
No one hears your final cries… <br>
<br>
<br>
TOYS IN THE ATTIC: A COLLECTION OF EVIL PLAYTHINGS is an<br>
<br>
anthology of horror like no other. Step inside…WELCOME TO THE ATTIC<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FToys-Attic-James-Ward-Kirk-ebook%2Fdp%2FB015EOQJNS%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514757305%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dtoys%2Bin%2Bthe%2Battic%2BMARY%2BGENEVIEVE&h=ATMy4iuUpjto1pM-NrQAAr-CiZrlr9DdonFg9QoGdeUWj4ptF73XeGBOetNZ_WWcbqfCnufI4PwyW6tbcO1XFQB5HfqN7Bki0pdWJbLDvkXBPiwIB7DwiRB4fHbZDuRm1qMeTOunfjTz79Sg">https://www.amazon.com/Toys-Attic-James-Ward-Kirk-ebook/dp/B015EOQJNS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514757305&sr=1-1&keywords=toys+in+the+attic+MARY+GENEVIEVE</a><br>
<br>
<br>
4. TOY SOLDIERS: Stacey TURNER<br>
<br>
<br>
In the world of Satan's Toybox, no toy is ever what it seems, and toy soldiers<br>
are no exception. Plastic army men, GI Joe and tin soldiers offer a place to<br>
work out your aggressions on an imaginary battlefield. But what if the<br>
battlefields are real and the toy soldiers have aggressions of their own?<br>
<br>
In this volume, the second anthology in the Satan's Toybox series, there<br>
are nineteen horrifying tales of epic battles, gruesome casualties and a<br>
heaping dose of revenge. From ancient Egyptian warriors protecting<br>
a tomb to Nutcrackers gone wrong, these are not the toys you<br>
remember. So, "Aten'hut! Fall in! Forward March!"<br>
<br>
Follow us into the Toybox and straight to Hell.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSatans-Toybox-Soldiers-Stacey-Turner%2Fdp%2F1469933381%2Fref%3Dsr_1_cc_1%3Fs%3Daps%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514757449%26sr%3D1-1-catcorr%26keywords%3Dtoy%2Bsoldiers%2Bstacey%2Bturner&h=ATOy9Ip1pu-C_5_2lGqlu-SfSBSzYiZBLDqXMvsaxrtBcTSs5FOBqtGVPHs5oAEEovZbuSyJDUF2CVY2Dnvha15csMR9YQ4YvHckeObyXhEzbd5aVzzYYy-qRgC83gBxq9oEh-65Wcz--cyo">https://www.amazon.com/Satans-Toybox-Soldiers-Stacey-Turner/dp/1469933381/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1514757449&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=toy+soldiers+stacey+turner</a><br>
<br>
<br>
SHORT STORIES<br>
<br>
<br>
1. SWITCH: Jasper BARK<br>
<br>
<br>
2. ALL WILL TURN TO GREY: Jezzy WOLFE<br>
<br>
<br>
3. INVISIBLE: EA BLACK<br>
<br>
<br>
4. UNSEEN: Suzanne MADRON<br>
<br>
<br>
5. SIRENS: Dallas MULLICAN<br>
<br>
<br>
6. FOR SALE OR RENT: Suzanne MADRON<br>
<br>
<br>
7. WORM: Jeff MENAPACE<br>
<br>
<br>
8. UPGRADED: Shaun MEEKS<br>
<br>
<br>
9. A NEW MAN: William NOLAN<br>
<br>
<br>
10. SHOPPING SPREE: Meghan ARCURI<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
TRUE STORIES<br>
<br>
<br>
1. THE SCIENCE OF VAMPIRES: Katherine RAMSLAND PHD<br>
<br>
<br>
Are any vampire myths based on fact?<br>
<br>
Bloodsucking villain to guilt-ridden loner—what has inspired the redemption of the<br>
vampire in fiction and film?<br>
<br>
What is Vampire Personality Disorder? What causes a physical addiction to<br>
another person’s blood?<br>
<br>
Are there any boundaries in the polysexual world of vampires?<br>
<br>
How could a vampire hide in today’s world of advanced forensic science?<br>
<br>
What is the psychopathology of the vampire?<br>
<br>
What happens in the brain of a vampire’s victim?<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FScience-Vampires-Katherine-Ramsland%2Fdp%2F0425186164%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Dbooks%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514757952%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3DTHE%2BSCIENCE%2BOF%2BVAMPIRES&h=ATNDmVETGW4dPI3AfrlLa8TiFklyzEt3wEtGk_NyNUJHLfDxXAKmwkWO83ww6SokPUT_S_shsJSW4PY1A6as4QPaEb8p9HzpzX0eZTPXl21vYGvlO70WvfiV5B5_i7drrkE01YROLOVMBSiD">https://www.amazon.com/Science-Vampires-Katherine-Ramsland/dp/0425186164/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1514757952&sr=1-1&keywords=THE+SCIENCE+OF+VAMPIRES</a><br>
<br>
<br>
2. HORROR GUIDE TO NORTHERN NEW ENGLAND: David and Scott GOUDSWARD<br>
<br>
<br>
Horror Guide to Northern New England is a map to geographical locations, <br>
real and fictional, utilized in horror tales and films set in Maine, New Hampshire,<br>
and Vermont. And just for good measure, they’ve included some true stories<br>
and events that should be horror stories or at least the inspiration for future ones.<br>
<br>
Sea serpents, ancient sacrificial tables, Barnabas Collins, Stephen King, <br>
Rick Hautala, and Shirley Jackson all call the area home – small wonder that<br>
the weird and horrific find sanctuary the shadow-choked forests, decrepit<br>
doomed villages, and fog-shrouded mountains of Northern New England.<br>
<br>
Join the brothers Goudsward as they offer the latest volume of their Horror Guides.<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FHorror-Guide-Northern-New-England-ebook%2Fdp%2FB071QYTSK5%2Fref%3Dredir_mobile_desktop%3F_encoding%3DUTF8%26keywords%3Dhorror%2Bguide%2Bto%2Bnorthern%2Bnew%2Bengland%26qid%3D1514758105%26ref_%3Dmp_s_a_1_2%26sr%3D8-2&h=ATMRAdyTL6poyd5um2tUrBnZWuyvx3Xfsxnquu4Y6ptL9hCoWdFwW57P5Tl9kgXpJnKWIaLzMHbHbqhhVhmfN69cNEo8j-eARuUHxrGRFgt-pwppQoBm7V-2QHB1dgogR0pl055zkfyPPk3s">https://www.amazon.com/Horror-Guide-Northern-New-England-ebook/dp/B071QYTSK5/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&keywords=horror%20guide%20to%20northern%20new%20england&qid=1514758105&ref_=mp_s_a_1_2&sr=8-2</a><br>
<br>
<br>
3. THE WISDOM OF PSYCHOPATHS: Kevin DUTTON<br>
<br>
<br>
Psychopath. The word conjurs up images of serial killers, rapists, suicide <br>
bombers, gangsters. But think again: you could probably benefit from being a<br>
little more psychopathic yourself.<br>
<br>
Psychologist Kevin Dutton has made a speciality of psychopathy, and is<br>
on first-name terms with many notorious killers. But unlike those<br>
incarcerated psychopaths, and all those depicted in movies and crime fiction,<br>
most are not violent, he explains. In fact, says Prof Dutton, they have a<br>
lot of good things going for them. Psychopaths are fearless, confident,<br>
charismatic and focused--qualities tailor-made for success in today's society.<br>
<br>
The Wisdom of Psychopaths is an intellectual rollercoaster ride that combines<br>
lightning-hot science with unprecedented access to secret monasteries,<br>
Special Forces training camps, and high-security hospitals. In it, you<br>
will meet serial killers, war heroes, financiers, movie stars and attorneys--<br>
and discover that beneath the hype and popular characterization,<br>
psychopaths have something to teach us.<br>
<br>
Like the knobs on a mixing deck, psychopathy is graded. And <br>
finding the right combination of psychopathic traits, sampled<br>
and mixed at carefully calibrated volumes, can put us ahead of the game.<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FWisdom-Psychopaths-Kevin-Dutton-ebook%2Fdp%2FB007SGM3JU%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fs%3Ddigital-text%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1514758257%26sr%3D1-1%26keywords%3Dthe%2Bwisdom%2Bof%2Bpsychopaths&h=ATNw_nlmA5TIBQUrQRkke0jpsfg6ILuBva-uoEe0Cohu6tKvUVA6VgJBusz3RZBN6k_puXoKLatQbzSAz7QSIwLiPcPy7ZKFPPskkq_mkj2ELVSpCofv59_xm4EmaYx-2ISgx4TkQ-Kb4P82">https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Psychopaths-Kevin-Dutton-ebook/dp/B007SGM3JU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1514758257&sr=1-1&keywords=the+wisdom+of+psychopaths</a><br>
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Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-85231735411345963322017-11-11T15:22:00.000-08:002019-05-07T04:02:38.575-07:00Living with DepressionI have had one foot through the veil my entire life. There are days when the whole leg is through the veil. Today, three quarters of me was there. I did not want to live any longer. I probably will not post this for a while because I am not through the worst of it, but not ready to talk yet. Or maybe I won't ever post it.<br />
<br />
I am so worn out by major illnesses and my body breaking down. I am worn out from the pain, mentally, physically and emotionally. So far, the past 8 years have been hell. Lots of great moments, but some very terrible, lost in the agony of screaming on the inside moments, that, I guess, once a year, I hit the saturation point and I am done.<br />
<br />
Today was that day. Today, I wanted to kill myself. I told my husband we should divorce so I can die. I thought of my grand children, my husband, my kids and the dogs. I made him admin of all the FB accounts I have so he can tell people, she gave up. I have told him no more dogs, because if I do do it, I don't want to hurt them. I thought about my estranged son, and wondered if it would matter to him. <br />
<br />
My son hasn't spoken to me, really spoken to me in three years I think now. I honestly don't know him. I thought I did. He and I were the closest growing up. Yes, I did grow up with my children. And he is the one that is most like me. But I do not recognize him anymore. He is married. And gone.<br />
<br />
My mind, body and heart are broken, and pieces of me are scattered throughout world. My soul is in the Netherlands, my heart is in BC, and my mind is lost simply touring the world and wanting me to be whole. I don't think that is possible anymore. I think I will always be the person with the pieces of her soul missing. I don't know if this was the Devine plan, to never feel like I matter to anyone other than my partner and my animals and the odd person. If so, you learned me. Don't know what point is though. I would have rather walked the earth a solitary unit than have a family that is living in the same city that I don't see.<br />
<br />
Maybe there is something missing in me. Something that people cannot stand to be around for long periods of time. Maybe I am meant to be alone. I wish I knew. I wish I had the answer to why I am always being abandoned and torn apart. I feel like Prometheous. My liver gets eaten by birds every day, and in great agony, I endure it, only to have my liver regrow to be eaten again.<br />
<br />
When is enough, enough? Will I ever beat this demon? I have lived with it so long now, it has become a part of me. My first dance with attempted suicide was at 14, then 17, and then I thought about it more numerous times than I care to remember. Some days life is meaningless and that is okay. It is the days when the soul ripping banshee tears through my mind and body and all I can feel is pain, immense pain physically and emotionally, that I cannot do it one more second.<br />
<br />
I have just been diagnosed with cervical stenosis, on top of the fibromyalgia, ruptured brain aneurysms, another brain aneurysm, major surgeries etc.<br />
<br />
In my head and heart, I've been wanting to not exist since I was three, the year the abuse started. And I believe the abuse changed the biochemicals in my body to disrupt and destroy my immune system, along with my emotional centres. As I continue to age, my autoimmune system destroys more and more of me, one cartilage at a time.<br />
<br />
I went to the orthopaedic surgeon and told him, I thought I was two decades away from this. He didn't say anything.<br />
<br />
What does all this mean? I really don't know. But the one thing I am certain of, is without my husband, I would not be here.<br />
<br />
Today, I choose to live. For now.<br />
<br />
August 2016<br />
<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-22848562284044811162017-09-16T10:23:00.001-07:002017-11-11T15:38:08.559-08:00What Ottawa is Doing Right and How Winnipeg Can Do it BetterI just spent five beautiful days in Ottawa. I walked everywhere, day and night, and felt safe. I do not know what it means to feel safe in Winnipeg. Especially downtown. Between the aggressive, in-your-face panhandlers, the drunks with their abusive language and in-your-face-attitude and the stabbing in the daytime at bus stops, Winnipeg has become a cesspool of lowlife street scum. And I know people are screaming about the police budget. But, you get what you pay for.<br />
<b>SAFETY</b><br />
I walked everywhere downtown. All through Byward Market, Parliment Hill, parks, streets and by homeless shelters. Ottawa has three homeless shelters in the Byward Market area. Yup, there were panhandlers, but they said please and thank you as you walked by. They did not slur drunkenly in my face or became aggressive as I said no thank you and walked on. They did not call me a bitch, they did not follow me and they did not become aggressive in any way.<br />
I walked in the dark, in the day time and in the twilight. I saw homeless people during all of my walks, but not one followed me or threatened me in any way.<br />
<b>DOWNTOWN</b><br />
Downtown is a vibrant, moving chrysalis of activity at all hours of night. They have great cafes in hidden areas, outdoor markets, fabulous boutiques you cannot find in the ubiquitous malls and great, personal, fantastically gorgeous one-of-a-kind articles of anything you may wish to purchase.<br />
They have fruit and vegetable markets, streets closed or monitored to traffic, pedestrians walking everywhere, dogs on patios and in stores, and, butchers, bakeries, and open window cafes. Sure, there were business buildings there, but they are not the focus. Peope business is the focus. People are the focus. Cafes open 24 hours are the focus. Foot traffic is the focus.<br />
Having a eco-diverse Hydro building? Not so much.<br />
<b>PARKS</b><br />
Green space is everywhere. Dogs are everywhere. In one of the many parks there were tight rope walkers, couples laughing and enjoying the sunshine, people reading, or napping under trees and kids playing. In the middle of downtown.<br />
<b>FREE ACTIVITIES</b><br />
CANADA 150, which I could not partake in because of stupid Brain Splatter Injury (BSI) had free exhibits, moving art, and wonderful tree sculptures all over the area where I was within a five mile radius and it was all FREE. The parliament buildings had a light show every night. Gatineau, Quebec had the exquisite MOSAICANADA gardens which were outstanding and had rave reviews, Byward Market had light sculptures and moving sculptures you could sit in too peddle as the lights told a storey on the screen. All free.<br />
<b>PEOPLE</b><br />
The people are friendly, even if English is not their first language. The culture is really diverse with many ethnic communities represented and sitting in a French restaurant speaking in English is welcomed. I have never seen more fashionable people, people well-dressed, including the men, than in Ottawa. I saw people riding bikes with Yoga mats, just coming from work. I saw young and old people, children and dogs.....I think I mentioned dogs.....<br />
The community is vibrant, colourful, ethnically diverse and interesting. I spoke to my cab driver who was from Africa and immigrated here 20 years ago. He has been to Winnipeg, Calgary and the US. He has no desire to live anywhere else. When he first moved to Ottawa he was terrified of the police, given his culture in Africa where he came from, but after a year realized the police in Canada are intelligent, polite and want to serve their community. He said he would not live anywhere else. He drives a cab for a living and lives in Ottawa, and has no regrets. He says it is the peace and tranquility that keeps him in Ottawa. He walks in the middle of the night along the canal and feels safe.<br />
Say what you will about politics, bilingualism, and taxes. I would gladly give up my house to move to a place that offers me peace and safety. And where I can fly home to the Netherlands.......<br />
<br />
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Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-65901558128121301742017-09-03T14:36:00.009-07:002019-05-07T04:09:43.618-07:00Communication and Emotion: What the Heck Did You Say? And Now I'm Offended...<b>Communication Roadblocks</b><br />
I've always been curious about communication. My favourite quote is "The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion it has taken place." I use this on my signature block at work because 95% of my job is about communication. All of my jobs or roles: Theurapeutic Healthcare Yoga Instructor, Senior Manager in IT, Peer to Peer Worker, Author, wife, mother, sister, daughter.<br />
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<b>Roadblocks One and Two: Cultural and Gender</b><br />
I was also born and raised in the Netherlands. We have a completely different way of communicating than in North America. It's not better or worse, it is just different. Dutch people are direct. We try not to confuse people by being coy or softening words to maybe tell you that it's time you stopped being a sexist jerk. We state it outright. I know that's weird in North America where women have been told not to say bad things about someone even if they are being ignorant. Bite your tongue, smile, and seethe with rage inside instead. Yes, I am generalizing. And this is where emotion and communication fit in.<br />
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In essence, biting your tongue is the typical female reaction to being hit on, patronized, or marginalized. I cannot speak for men because I have not been one in this lifetime, however, I do understand the frustration of asking a person 'What's wrong', and being met with 'Nothing' and end up being in a silent rage hurricane, and not knowing why. For women, this is a defence mechanism or a passive aggressive response in order not to turn a potential harmless situation into a violent one.<br />
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Violence is a part of our daily lives. You just need to read the paper to know that; the leading cause of death of pregnant women is being murdered by their partner (2001 Isabelle Horon, PhD Maryland Dept of Health and Hygeine, Journal of the American Medical Association); a Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada report from Statistics Canada states that Aboriginal women are more likely to die violent deaths, and homicide rates were six times higher than non-Aboriginal women; women are four times as likely to be a victim of homicide by partner than their male counterparts (Stats Canada). So get it. I understand the reluctance of some women not to speak up, to appear to 'get' the joke and laugh about misogyny, to walk away rather than say what they want. That is one issue with communication. The silence. The building up of anger over being manipulated or being told we are too emotional or too sensitive, or we can't take a joke. Fortunately, as women age, we lose our filters.<br />
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But even in a non-violent situation at work studies have found that when women are in a group with men, they will typically not say anything or, if they do speak, are not heard. I used to call that talking in my girl voice again because it happened so often. Working in a male dominant environment, this will only get you pushed around. I saw that first hand when I had a young woman working for me who was meek and soft spoken. She was placed in more and more situations where work was forced upon her and she took it, even though it stressed her and she felt guilty for taking sick days or vacation time. She would work overtime and not tell me because she was not capable of doing everything she was told she had to do because of changing work structure. When I tried to intervene, she would become upset and claim I wasn't being nice or that I was mean. When I tried to understand her work load I was never given a straight answer.<br />
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<b>Roadblock Three: Introversion Verses Extroversion</b><br />
I am an introvert. Always have been. People suck the life out of me. I prefer the quiet, one-on-one deep discussions over meaningless prater and group events drain me completely. Weird, I know! Looking at my non-conformist standard of dress, hair colour and sense of humour, you would think I was a screaming Extrovert. But nope. I'm not. I am an INTJ for those of you that use Myers Briggs, part of the .08% of the female population. I'm a logical thinker, analyzer, like to ponder the ways of the world in solitude while drinking organic tea. You people that know me now can stop laughing. I am also super goofy (check out Facebook pix) and I see the world differently than most. I have studied human nature for almost five decades, up close and personal. And I've seen and dealt with many situations that most of the adult population never encounter.<br />
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As my son and I were driving home today we listened to "QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Very cool book if you are an Introvert in an Extravert world. I won't spoil it for you, but being an Introvert is pretty awesome and we make terrific leaders. We had a great discussion about communication. He is an autistic person. Communication is tough for him. I remember him as a child and he would never use the word 'I' because 'eye' sounded the same, but they couldn't have two different meanings. English language problems.....<br />
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From studying communication, people can become silent when they feel unheard or they can lash out. I used to stay silent and get angry, then become sarcastic (lashing out). I did not really understand why I was not understood. I would try to be as clear as possible, using as many or as few words as possible, and things would still go sideways. Then I would try and analyze where the train went off the rails.<br />
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Now, I read as many books as I can about communication and what can happen when communication doesn't happen. The results are not pretty; health decreases, productivity drops, turnover rates increase, the cost of doing business increases having to re-do jobs or projects, morale drops, people become sensitive and hoard information, gossip, and all sorts of angry beasts show up. It can happen as quick as a backdraft in a fire. One wrong word, phrase or look can turn a conversation from productive to destructive.<br />
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<b>Roadblock Four: Being on the Spectrum of Autism. </b><br />
Being a person with autism is incredibly difficult in terms of communication and emotion. As you can guess, not being able to read social cues, facial expressions, or understand sarcasm, can make someone a little gun shy when dealing with people. I am going to post my son's view on communication, with his permission.<br />
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<b><i> How to Express Emotion and How Others Express Emotion by A.F.</i> </b><br />
I begin with this statement: I'm not good with emotion; I have extreme difficulty interpreting how I feel and interpreting how others feel. I never really know how my friends feel about me on any given day. I never know, without an outright statement, how others feel. I'm completely clueless, so I use a "best guess" mind set: people don't friend people they hate.<br />
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The dominate emotion I have is anger. That's the first emotion I feel when overwhelmed or scared. It's the "natural" mindset when cast into a new situation. Fear is a distant second. When I feel myself getting angry or when I am, I think to myself: "what is the actual emotion that I feel right now?" And "what is the cause of my anger?" And then I stop and think about these two things. I'll follow the strand of thought that makes me so upset and try to figure out the source of it.<br />
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Normally I get angry because I'm frustrated. This is usually where following that strand of thought takes me. I get angry because I can't stay long when I'm with a group of friends. I become withdrawn, more analytical and less humorous. This is an introversion thing. I cant change that. This is a classical source of frustration and therefore, anger, for me.<br />
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One of the first introspective journeys lead me to this conclusion. I would like to stay longer with groups of friends, to stay open and humorous. I used to, and I suppose, still do, become moody, sad, or depressed towards the end of our activity. But since I started thinking along these likes "what is the actual emotion that I feel right now" I can state outright: "Hey, I think I need to go now, I'm getting pretty tired" and that helps mitigate these feelings of frustration.<br />
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Knowing that anger is my dominant emotion and that frustration is a cause of anger, I have taken these steps to decrease the amount I feel in daily life. I feel like I am much happier as a result and have developed an positive outlook over all. I prefer this over being moody all the time.<br />
Other feelings are much harder for me to analyze in this fashion. I never really know how I feel about my friends or if I have more intimate feelings for another person. These feelings never exist in isolation of each other. This makes if difficult for me to talk about these matters with other people or that person I like. I simply just don't know.<br />
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I feel: anger, frustration, closeness, kindness, belonging, isolation, confusion, when I sit and think about a person I think I like. This emotional fog is persistent and prevents me from talking about anything, I just label it all as confusion and assume friendship and carry on.<br />
How I think others feel about me: annoyance, clinginess, friendly, kind, selfish, controlling, intelligent, dim witted; again, another patch of emotional fog.<br />
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I like knowing what's going on before I take action. I don't like being caught off guard by an unknown variable, I like clear and concise planning for everything. I know this is where I get labeled as controlling. But you can always tell me exactly what to do when to do it and why, and I'll be fine too. Basically, I like either being in control of what's going on or being controlled by someone else with respect to what's going on.<br />
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I am not selfish, I'm oblivious and absentminded. A selfish person knows the thoughts, feelings and expectations of others but chooses to ignore them. An oblivious person doesn't know the thoughts, feelings and expectations of others to begin with, and there for they act in their own interests or will act with what they think are the interests of others<br />
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I don't think people are bad and I don't hold grudges. But there are people who I will avoid because they make me feel angry or they are negative to be around. Other people's emotional state will influence mine, so if someone is negative it will effect me.<br />
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In social situations and out in public I look to others for how to feel. I take my emotional queues from the people I'm with. This way I don't need to constantly think about what the heck is going on, who all these people are or if I should feel threatened. If you're relaxed I'm relaxed. This is pretty much how I've gone out my entire life, always with a friend or loved one by my side. I think I've gone out alone maybe 10 times in 20 years. Most of that is buying me food that I need (which I can do because its getting food from the local Extra Foods place)<br />
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Overall, I have made the decision to be happy in daily life, which I say literally. Happiness does not come to me, its something that I choose to be. I choose to be around people that make me happy over all. I choose to make these people happy, I choose happy media; songs, TV shows, YouTube series, books etc. Being happy is the way in which I will live my life.<br />
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The only way this is possible is to identify how my own emotions work, figuring out what the cause of my frustrating and anger are. Then addressing these root causes and resolving them and finally choosing to be happy once that's satisfied.<br />
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This was based from a conversation I had with Malina at the lake.<br />
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<b>Conclusion</b><br />
It's no wonder we are in a state of constant stress and are exhausted at the end of a work day. The emotional toll of miscommunication makes it hard to enjoy your job, or your life, not to mention the cost of business and productivity.<br />
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How well do you communicate? Do you think you are effective? Do you understand the impact of your communication skills and how it sets the tone for your marriage? What about in the workplace? Do you know how to listen? Interpret? Are you getting all of the information you need in order to make a decision? Are you interpreting the information in the way it was intended, or are you filling in the gaps with guesses and judgement?<br />
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Wherever you are, we all need to understand and be understood.Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-19058866259633763832017-06-11T10:52:00.002-07:002019-05-12T08:40:49.524-07:00The Dogs of Depression: A Guide For Happy PeopleI'm in a period of introspection and reality awareness ever since the death of Chris Cornell. He was my age. He had money, a career, a family that loved him, more than most people on this planet, yet he still chose to take his life.<br />
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Robin Williams was another devastating loss. He had fame, a family that loved him, wealth, friends, and yet, he too ended his life.<br />
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They say that money does not buy happiness. I think that should read money does not defeat depression and pain. There are many stages and versions of depression.<br />
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There's the blues, the Yorkie (4 pounds) of depression, something you can kick off in a day or two where you feel, meh.<br />
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Then there is the Miniature Poodle (15 pounds) of depression: lasts a few days longer but still something you can exercise away when you increase your dopamine levels naturally. This is usually situationally based: loss of a job promotion, breakup of an unimportant relationship, different expectations of outcome.<br />
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Next is the Bulldog (32 pounds) of depression. This is when you are depressed for more than two weeks and you cannot pull yourself out of it. Nothing matters. You don't clean yourself, you don't get out of bed and you don't go to work. At this point, you need help. Sometimes you cycle a few weeks of the year and the rest is fine. Sometimes this happens once and you are good. When this occurs, you need to seek medical treatment to help.<br />
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Then comes the Irish Setter (70 pounds) of depression. You are longer in the depressed state than out of it, but you can still come out of it. This is serious depression where nothing matters. Nothing good lives in this state, but you have no control over how long it lasts or if it goes away. You hurt, physically, emotionally and in your soul.<br />
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Next is the English Mastiff (150 pounds) of depression. This is the end state of depression where no matter how good life is, nothing can pull you out. Medication is usually tried, upwards of 50 or more, to find the correct one to balance your mood. If you are lucky, you find the right one and you coast. Or you find the right combination of medications. Life is good, you are okay, not really happy, but you are balanced, and you need the medication to maintain the level of no depression, but there is no happiness either.<br />
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This can manifest as smiling depression; the one where you wear a mask of smiles and when people ask, you say, 'I'm fine' because you just don't want to talk about anymore, and you feel you are a burden to everyone around you. These are usually the funniest people in the room; the first ones to help when others are down, and the first ones to step in when life hits the fan for someone they care about.<br />
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Last is when something catastrophic happens. You lose a child or a partner. You have now bypassed all stages of depression and come to the Dire Wolf of grief and depression.<br />
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The pain is so overwhelming that you want to tear your skin off just to feel something else. Anything else. You vacillate between pain and numbness. Basic human needs fall to the wayside. You might remember to eat, or bathe, or brush your teeth. You might still work and grow comfortably numb for 9 hours a day, shutting off the emotions, tramping those suckers down so hard and so deep that you can effectively bury them without losing momentum on projects at work.<br />
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But you go home and you think. You watch a movie and you see a face that resembles the person you lost. And you sob, lying on the floor wanting it to end. Not necessarily wanting your life to end, but the pain. The gouging, tearing, ripping pain the clutches at your soul piece by piece. After a few days, you grow numb again. Until the next reminder, or worse, the next catastrophic event like being diagnosed with a chronic illness that will render you a vegetable in a few years time. Then, that is the point when some people say, enough.<br />
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No more pain. No more suffering. No more Dire Wolf tearing at my throat.<br />
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Robin Williams said "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."<br />
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A lot of people with chronic pain or illness, or serious illnesses end up alone. Friends and family cut you off, and when you need them the most, these people scatter. I have heard story after story of kids abandoning parents, siblings cutting other siblings out, friends, best friends leaving the wounded and the weak, like somehow what's happened is catching.<br />
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And it is a Catch-22. Depressed and grieving people want to be alone. They want to disappear in a time and space of nothingness. They need to grieve, sometimes for years. It is difficult being around a person like that. But the burden that is placed on the partner or the children of the grieving is so incredibly difficult and stressful, and usually these people, these loved ones are collateral damage, because family and friends don't just cut off the victim of the Dire Wolf, but everyone else that stays and supports the severely depressed.<br />
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I wrote this in terms so that people might understand what depression can be, for people who have had the fortunate alignment of the right stars, at the right time, and have never been depressed.<br />
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I wrote on FB one day, "If you think you know what depression is, you don't. If you think you know what suicidal depression is, you still don't". I meant that for people who have not travelled down this dark, lost highway, alone and suffering. I wanted to put into words what an overwhelming and life altering experience depression is for the person in the thick of it.<br />
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Reach out if someone is hurting. Your words, your sitting in silence, your presence might make a difference.<br />
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And if you are the one with the Dire Wolf at your heels, please reach out until someone listens. Talk until you get a response that makes the pain a little less, and, more importantly, forget the platitudes and do not engage with people that offer weak advice. Good intentions, but stuff you don't need, like, 'Don't think about it," or "It's in the past. Leave it there," or "Snap out of it," or my favourite, "Others have it worse." None of these help and only add to the pain and negate everything you are feeling. Again, good intentions, not helpful.<br />
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Well-meaning friends and family use these because it is the magical thinking that if you can snap out of a depressed mood, it won't happen to me.<br />
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And, last, if you know your brother, sister, mother, father, uncle or friend is a caregiver, reach out to them too. You can make a difference.<br />
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Suicide Hotline USA: 1-800-273-8255<br />
Suicide Hotline MB: 1-877-435-7170....seems like all the provinces have their own.<br />
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<a href="http://www.suicideprevention.ca/">www.suicideprevention.ca</a><br />
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©Malina Roos 2017<br />
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<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-52880401515069176852017-04-08T12:34:00.003-07:002019-05-07T04:16:37.952-07:0013 REASONS WHYI was in a bit of a quandary as to where to blog this, but I still don't know if I am going to write a book review or an op-ed piece on the content. And, I guess I figured it will be a better fit here, because I can talk about anything, not just the writing, the characters, the pace, the story line, the theme, plot or a myriad of other writerly things.<br />
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I watched the Neflix series in two days while I was at home convalescing after a somewhat serious heart condition. I cocoon and nest when I am ill because I have learned through life the only person I can truly rely on is myself. So I hide. I don't want anyone to see me and I become paralyzed until the sympathetic nervous system finally lets go a week or two later. So, for a week or so I binge watch TV, sleep and read. Is it healthy? I don't know. Does it work? Yup.<br />
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So during this time I watched 13 Reasons Why. It was profound, sad, frustrating, and so many other things that I do not have words for it. Someone mentioned on my FB post that his daughter watched it and was angry about it. I wondered why. Why would this story of a young girl being bullied, sexually assaulted, lied about and abused make someone angry.<br />
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Sadly, this is high school. It was like this when I went. It was like this when my children went, and I bet it's the same now. There was nothing this girl experienced that a million other girls didn't experience. The difference being, however, now we get photographic proof, or video proof and this abuse follows you home. It's on your laptop, your phone, on every phone in the high school. The proof stays there forever. Thirty years later, you can google and find that video of you being sexually assaulted.<br />
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And the whispers never stop. You walk into a room and the room goes silent. You know they were just talking about how you gave John a blowjob in the playground last night. Even though that didn't happen. You haven't even been kissed yet, but John decides he wants to save his reputation from you turning him down, by telling everyone what a slut you are. And remember. You are not one of them. You are the new kid in school, because your family moves every two years. So you are always the new kid.<br />
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Then the jocks think you are easy, so they start hitting on you, trapping you in the hallway, the classroom, outside, anywhere they can. And they touch you. You cannot stop it. Then when you cry, they call you a whore, a bitch, a slut and laugh. This goes to all of their friends and their girlfriends, and suddenly you are walking down the hall and everyone is making rude gestures, leaving nasty photos an notes in your locker, and tweeting it to all of their friends.<br />
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You are shopping with your family and one of the jocks mimics a blow job in front of your mother while looking at you. You wince and want to die.<br />
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You're at the corner store and someone else walks in, rubs himself on you while grabbing you. You can't move because you are trapped by the counter. He smiles and says something funny.<br />
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The next time an older guy you like invites you in for a coke. He's friendly and persuasive , and then gets nasty because you won't touch him. He rips your clothes off an rapes you. Then as you leave he says, "Please don't tell anyone about this." You walk off in a daze, blood running down your leg and you feel like your head is in the clouds. What just happened?<br />
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A few days later, a friend of your parents is visiting and he is leaving the bathroom as you open your bedroom door. He goes on his knees in front of you and mimics oral sex. You are 14 and have no clue what that means, but it makes you feel dirty and ugly and you feel like it's your fault.<br />
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This happens every single day in North America. And now with President Trump saying he can't stop himself from grabbing beautiful women by the crotch I realize what a different world we live in, men and women.<br />
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I read the book after the watching the series (the series was better) and I felt so bad for Hannah thinking she was all alone. Hannah, you are not alone. There are millions of you out there fighting off teachers, parents, uncles, step-fathers, cousins, brothers, landlords, and bosses.<br />
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Reading and watching this just reinforced how ugly it can be, to be a teenage girl in this predatory world. It makes me angry that we raise boys to think this is okay and we tell the girls "to get over it."<br />
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And then we wonder why depression is so high.<br />
<br />Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-10840941896694565272017-03-18T12:13:00.001-07:002019-05-07T04:18:11.026-07:00Such As It IsThis is it. This is what we have been given to work with. One life. One year. One Month. One week. One day. One moment.<br />
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For some of us, this is a death sentence because we live with mental illness; depression, PTSD, GAD, OCD, ADD, more DDD's but I digress. I always wanted initials after my name....be careful what you wish for, little one. Others live without illness weighing them down. But, as REM says, Everybody Hurts. Life is just harder for some than others. And what are you going to do about it?</div>
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Life is short. Probably a lot shorter than what we had hoped for. I doubt anyone on their death bed shouts "Dammit, why didn't you show up sooner. I was ready 23 years ago. Now look, dinner is cold. And I'm not reheating it."</div>
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Nope, I try not to take things too seriously, because, as you all know, it's all downhill from here. Might as well live as hard as you can and for all the right reasons.</div>
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If I had to make stuff up (I know, quit laughing) I would say most of my life has been made up of these incredible moments in time with happy, beautiful funny, incredible kids, an outstanding, quirky husband, beautiful, loving dogs, great careers (did I mention ADD.....) and less of the dark, icky, oozy stuff. </div>
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Unfortunately, it is the dark stuff that sticks and sucks me into the abyss. There are moments so black and so bleak that there is no light. I prefer not to think on these. I work them out, one dark piece of twisted, burning metal at a time. Toss it away. Take on the the next piece. Chew on it for a while and it goes into the heap.</div>
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Now the happy stuff: my incredible, courageous, loving, patient husband. Without him, I'd be done a long time ago. My children, who have taught me so much in life and have made such an extraordinary difference, my grandchildren who have shown me what's best in life, my dogs, I wish I had enough years to own all the dogs I've ever wanted. My passions, Yoga, horror writing, being an artist, helping others, reading, learning, and my friends. Damn, I love you all. </div>
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Find the happiness. Find the love. Find the hope, the peace, the joy, the passion that you deserve. Do not go through this life wandering and thinking and being desperately alone. Do not give up on yourself or others. Nothing comes to you; you have to fight for it. So go out there and brave the new world. And find the love and laughter for yourself. You deserve it. Baggage or no baggage. </div>
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Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-17142524390785280502016-11-24T08:16:00.001-08:002019-05-07T04:18:48.555-07:00Letters to AdamDear Adam; <br />
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My first son, my little fireball. How did an entire barrel of monkeys fit inside this tiny human being? <br />
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You are such a joy to be around. Your laughter and sense of humour, though a wee bit off kilter, speaks to your intelligence. Your compassion and sense of wonder makes me smile. <br />
<br />
I see pictures of old punk bands and think, he would love this. Or I watch a movie and think, I can see him rewatching that scene over and over again. <br />
<br />
Life has not been easy for you, yet you persevere. You do not wait for things to happen, but go out and make your own magic. Your gifts are many: an extremely hard worker, courageous, stubborn, quick thinker, quirky sense of humour, and your faults are few. <br />
<br />
You are growing into your own person, developing a unique way of looking at things, loving people and doing what's right. <br />
<br />
One day, my love, we will be together again. My heart will always be open. <br />
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<br />
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneMalina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-45590763939278379552016-10-15T14:54:00.002-07:002019-05-07T04:21:01.587-07:00Donald Trump Should Come With A Trigger Warning<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am astounded in this day and age that a person who allegedly is groping women and assaulting them against their will is a front runner for President of one of the most powerful nations in the world. To hear him say he is a "magnet to beautiful women" and he "doesn't even wait" he just starts kissing and groping disgusts me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then there is the entire Bill Cosby mess, the Jian <span style="color: #252525; font-size: 14px;">Ghomeshi assaults, Roman Polanski, Woody #$&)^ Allen, the list grows.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">What is it about certain males that think women are objects just meant to be there for the taking? Walking, talking animated Stepford-Dolls just waiting to be groped and assaulted on a whim. Really? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame the justice system, excuse me, the legal system that gives rapists light sentences because having this on their record will hurt their future careers. Really? What about the victim. Her <i>life </i>is ruined. Not just her career. Every day for the rest of her existence it will be in her head that she was violated without the ability to stop it.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame society for raising boys to be the 'man' of the house when daddy is gone. Ugh. That phrases sickens me. A six year old is not a 'man' to be lording around his sisters and mother. When was the last time someone said, 'okay you're the woman of the house until mommy comes home'? The implications are that boys are these omnipotent creatures while girls just are.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame religion for teaching the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Where the heck is the Mother, The Daughter and the Holy Intuition? And it is not just Catholicism or Christianity. It is Islam, and the Jewish religion and all forms of patriarchal religions that say hey, if you have this genitalia, you can do this and if you have that genitalia, you cannot. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame the parents that raise their boys to be entitled to take whatever they want. Rich or middle income families that feel 20 minutes of action shouldn't be a death blow to Junior's career.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame Hollywood for thinking that a 40 YO actor is washed up if she is a female, but a 75 YO male actor can be the love interest of a 26 YO female actor.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame corporations that promote sexism and mysogynistic behaviour, while ignoring the disrespect that goes on, and then wonders why morale is low.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame advertising that markets to a generalization of sexual assaults against women to sell clothing, perfume, cars, and even a Big Mac. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame universities where, on orientation women are told not to use the tunnels at the University of Manitoba because they may be assaulted, and instead they should walk outside at -40. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame loser, white trash men that have to go to an organization like Pick Up Artists to learn how to become predators and that they are entitled to jump on any female they desire. And that they are taught how to mislead, lie and drug women for sex.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame town councils that, after having an alarming increase in the percentage of sexual assaults, tells women that they have a curfew, instead of locking up the perverts.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame rank that instills power in a person that allows them to assault others and then to snicker about it afterwards because rank has its privilege. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I blame women for perpetuating this myth by blaming the victim. I blame Christian women that buy into the pathos of, if you are married, you should be having sex whenever he demands it.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I think I just figured out why women are still marginalized.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-56610774144296462122016-09-25T14:32:00.002-07:002019-05-07T04:21:42.832-07:00Life in Dog YearsHow do you picture your life? I picture mine in dog years. I am of that age where I figure I can get one, maybe two more dogs and that's it, and that saddens me. It feels almost like when I realized I wasn't going to have anymore children. It is weird to realize you are living in the middle to the last part of your years.<br />
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Did I accomplish everything I wanted? Yes, for the most part. I did. I will never be one of those people that regrets not having done white water rafting, zip lining, skiing, repelling down a mountain or kayaking. I will never regret pursuing careers such as psych nursing, medicine, philosophy, writing, psychology, or the police force. I will never regret having children, just the number of them. Should have had one more to even things out.<br />
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I will never regret having married, traveling the world or living across Canada. I will never regret studying Alternative Medicine, going to University or studying aircraft maintenance. I will never regret speaking four languages fluently, horseback riding in the mountains or finding a passion for horror.<br />
<br />
I will never regret buying a Mazda MX-5 and popping a wheelie on Memorial Boulevard. I will never regret listening to Punk and Alternative music super loud and signing at the top my lungs. I will never regret swimming at midnight, drinking on the beach, running with the full moon and howling through the RV park.<br />
<br />
I will never regret the passion for my husband, my partner in this life and all others. I will never regret staying home and raising my kids, putting off my career until I was old. I will never regret loving them so much it makes me feel like dying when I cannot see or talk to them. I<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9JHAJ28ENdn34Rj1VfIHkqawPwlDEuOhCfTZGFpE2-GDvwhpkFbsHjlQc2bTv3t0AsmcBQ6rVg-gzYtAH_05cOk4LH2n9tc9K8mw0MDkChsXKqcUssykh47YYmaP7KE6NOtNK44lRLlK_/s1600/581497_10151259684820266_1158128730_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9JHAJ28ENdn34Rj1VfIHkqawPwlDEuOhCfTZGFpE2-GDvwhpkFbsHjlQc2bTv3t0AsmcBQ6rVg-gzYtAH_05cOk4LH2n9tc9K8mw0MDkChsXKqcUssykh47YYmaP7KE6NOtNK44lRLlK_/s320/581497_10151259684820266_1158128730_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
will never regret my grandchildren and what great people they are and how happy I am to know them.<br />
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I will never regret learning about everything and anything that I am passionate about, regardless of how weird, icky, redundant or strange it may be, because knowledge for the sack of knowledge is a love, loved best.<br />
<br />
But I will regret not having all the dogs I ever wanted.Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-50358773066339113762016-08-29T14:25:00.001-07:002019-05-07T04:22:16.175-07:00Hippie: The ReduxAll right, so when I started this blog three years ago, I decided I wanted to be a hippie. So far, so good.<br />
<br />
Three years later, I am a trained and Certified Yoga Instructor specializing in Yoga for Mental Heath, PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, I am registered in the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Certification program, I am teaching yoga twice a week for a federal organization and have done more writing and editing.<br />
<br />
I am planning a three day Yoga Retreat and contemplating ghost writing a Yoga book for a highly intelligent, creative and flexible person.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqBHPIo2l-rreBAEDNOKeAGKMbkbCLfYDdxAKfEXmqBDmU7Sk8h8zO1rzqUZ49VVqFv-NoeG4XtTQXeOPIqpUhQakGjSH41QV6uO3-1q62Tlqp3k3p81v-pbzQvcXrFr0zIf1jd6-O0pMH/s1600/a896d9_f509f204dfe64c04a17578137632fc1c.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqBHPIo2l-rreBAEDNOKeAGKMbkbCLfYDdxAKfEXmqBDmU7Sk8h8zO1rzqUZ49VVqFv-NoeG4XtTQXeOPIqpUhQakGjSH41QV6uO3-1q62Tlqp3k3p81v-pbzQvcXrFr0zIf1jd6-O0pMH/s1600/a896d9_f509f204dfe64c04a17578137632fc1c.png" /></a></div>
<br />
I have also since then, been promoted and lead a unit in the fedral government. Been published a few more times, still working on the novel, and still battling demons.<br />
<br />
I have achieved more towards my goal and have moved away from what is holding me back.<br />
<br />
I still dream of my house on an acreage where I can grow wine (yes, I know) read, write, stomp some grapes in the backyard, run through fields of clover with the wolves and splash in the ocean whenever the urge strikes.<br />
<br />
Will it happen? Who knows. I try to stay the course, I meander, wander, stroll, roam and leap through paths. Life is more exciting when you can switch gears on a moment's notice.Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-8353440190177389872016-08-29T14:14:00.006-07:002019-05-07T03:35:44.878-07:00JOHN EVERSON<div style="border: none black 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none black 0cm; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 0cm 0cm;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">JOHN EVERSON<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">When
did you start writing horror?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Probably the first
“horror” thing that I wrote was a little vignette about a guy who comes home
from work and hangs himself… a nice, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">uplifting</i>
little tale which was published in my high school newspaper literary page. Then
I wrote a few horror stories for Creative Writing classes in college (one
professor graded me “down” and told me to quit wasting my time writing stuff
like that Stephen King fellow.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had
been out of college a couple years when I really started regularly writing
fiction and submitting to magazines. 2014 marked my 20<sup>th</sup> anniversary
as a published fiction writer (not counting that high school foray).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you
written in any other genre?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">I grew up reading
science fiction, so a lot of my earlier stories, in particular, have some
sci-fi to them. And I’ve written urban fantasy on occasion. I even have a short
collection out that is strictly Christmas fantasy tales.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I have a short fantasy story out there
for young beginning readers, which I originally wrote for my son. Most of the
story ideas I come up with have dark twists at the end, but every now and then
a ray of light shows through!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
makes you uncomfortable?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Loss. I worry about
the things you can’t guard against. The things that come into your life from
left field and steal everything you have – whether those things are human
villains or cancer or a car gone out of control and crossing three lanes of
traffic right at you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does your
family read your work?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Not too much. My
wife and sister-in-law have read some of my books. My dad read one of my novels
once and decided they weren’t for him. I’m okay with that. I don’t really want
to have to try to explain why I write the stories that I do!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does your
writing make you uneasy?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Only when it’s
taking me too long to finish a project!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who would
you say you write like?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Me. There are a lot
of authors I like and admire. I wouldn’t presume to think I write like or could
be considered comparable to any of them, though I wish I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 11.0pt;">7.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who are your favourite authors?</span></b><span class="null"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span class="null"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I like a lot of authors for different things, but the ones
I come back to again and again include Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, Richard
Matheson, Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Clive Barker, Anne Rice, Edward Lee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up, I had a whole different list of
science fiction authors, who still hold a big bunch of real estate on my bookshelves.
But Isaac Asimov, Clifford Simak, Hal Clement, Charles Eric Maine, J.T.
McIntosh, C.J. Cherryh, Eric Frank Russell, Keith Laumer and Robert Heinlein
don’t have much bearing for a horror crowd!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div style="border: none black 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none black 0cm; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 0cm 0cm;">
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
influences you as a writer?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Everyone I’ve ever
read! Especially those listed in Question 7!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">9. Do you remember what your first horror book was
that you read?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">I read all sorts of
ghost stories and classics like Poe as a kid. But probably the first “adult”
horror novel I read was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Carrie</i>, when
I was a freshman in high school. That really opened my eyes to what you could
do with character development and inner narrative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That novel blew me away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">10.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How old
were you?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">14. It was my first
semester of Freshman year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there
any subject you will not touch as an author?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">That’s a hard one.
I believe you can write about anything… but I won’t touch things that I am not
interested in reading about. Why would I want to spend my time?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typically, I have no interest in reading
about serial killers, or child abusers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That said, in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sacrifice</i>,
Ariana qualifies as a serial killer, even though she’s doing it as an occult
ritual. And in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The 13<sup>th</sup></i>,
there are unborn babies who are sacrificed along with their mothers. So it’s
partially about context.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I personally
wouldn’t have any interest chronicling the life of a real serial killer like
John Wayne Gacy for example. There are people fascinated with the reality of
that horror… but I’m fascinated by the kind of horror that is not of this
tabloid-driven earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">12.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was
the best advice you were given as a writer?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Write a lot, and
always write for yourself – don’t chase a trend, you’ll always be on the run. Read
your dialogue aloud. Read to yourself in the mirror, if that’s the only
audience you’ve got. Listen to what your characters are saying. Would anybody
REALLY talk like that? Storytelling began as an oral tradition and the best,
most get-under-your-skin stories are typically those that can be read aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">13.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
had to start all over again, what would you do different?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">I think I’d learn
how to write Romance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">14.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many
books do you read a year?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">That number, sadly,
gets less and less every year. The last time I read more than 10 books in a
year was 2007 (I used to keep<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>lists).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The past couple years
I’ve barely gotten through a handful of books a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss the days that I used to lie around the
house and read for hours – just for pleasure, not because I was editing or
blurbing something (which seems to be the only way I read at all anymore!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">15.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you
write every day?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">I do every day that
I’m writing ;-)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">I’m a sprint
writer, not a marathon writer. What does that mean? I can sit down sometimes
and knock out thousands of words over a weekend when I can immerse myself and
dedicate myself to it. But unless I’m under a real date-oriented deadline, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might then go for a couple weeks or a month
without writing a word. I’ve written over 10,000 words in a 24-hour period
before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m good at periodic long hard sprints like
that. I’m not so good at religiously sitting down day-after-day and knocking
out 1,000 words in a regular rhythm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That said… when I’m really actively working on a novel, I do force
myself into a daily schedule so that I guarantee that I’ll hit 6-7,000 words a
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can usually only keep that pace
up for a couple months, but that’s enough to get a good chunk of a novel down
on paper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";">Please provide Amazon, Twitter, Linked In,
Facebook, Blog Links<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri";"><a href="http://johneverson.com/">http://johneverson.com/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/John-Everson/e/B002BMHL52/"><span style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">http://www.amazon.com/John-Everson/e/B002BMHL52/</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="https://twitter.com/JohnEverson"><span style="color: black;">https://twitter.com/JohnEverson</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/johneverson"><span style="color: black;">https://www.facebook.com/johneverson</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<br /></div>
</div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-47878271048780111532016-08-29T14:14:00.003-07:002019-05-07T03:35:44.455-07:00Men in Horror: SHAUN MEEKS<div class="Body">
Shaun Meeks<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->When did you start writing horror?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
I wrote my first short story when I
was in grade 4. I did a book report on The Shining (something that didn<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t
go over well in the Catholic School I attended) and then wrote a story called Cannibalistic
Vampires. It was a cross between The Hills Have Eyes and Near Dark. From there,
I wrote about two stories a year, most of them terrible. I still have a few of
them and they are my secret shame.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Have you written in any other genre?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Not that I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve published as of
yet, but I have a few that will be released in the near future. Many of them
lean more towards crime stories, but there are also a few science fiction and
fantasy stories too. I do have a book series planned that will have touches of
horror to it, but will be aimed at a younger audience.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->What makes you uncomfortable?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Questions that ask what makes me
uncomfortable, for one. Aside from that, there are a few other things. Being on
sketchy rides at travelling carnivals never make me feel good, nor do unsafe
heights. Where I used to work, I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>d have to go to the roof of this
thirty-three story building and it had no real ledge to it. It just sort of
dropped off. It was so windy up there and nothing to hold onto. It was a place
of nightmares. I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve been tempted to write about fears of mine like that, but
they haven<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t come out right, so maybe later.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Does your family read your work?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Some of them do, but not all. One of
my most vocal fans in my family is my son, Kaleb. He loves and promotes almost
everything I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve written. My partner, she has read a lot of what I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve
written, but is more of a Jane Austen fan than a Stephen King one. She<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
had some tough reads with my work, especially a certain zombie erotica story I
wrote. As far as the ones who don<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t read it, it could be that horror is
not their thing, or reading isn<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t. Who knows? I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m sure all writers
have some family that just think the whole writing thing is really just a hobby
of sorts, nothing to take serious. I don<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t get offended by them, you can<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t
please everyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Does your writing make you uneasy?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Not at all. Well, I did write part of
a novel a few years ago that I had to put down. I managed to get about 55,000
words into it, but the subject matter was getting too hard for me and was
actually giving me nightmare. The book is called Memoirs of a Serial Killing
and even though the subject matter is fiction, I did add fair amount of reality
to it. Most of it has to do with some personal experience I had growing up that
haunt me. I grew up in a very abusive home, so when I go into some of the
killer<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
past, I used things I saw and lived through as fodder. It was had to relive
them, but I feel like they add a pretty good punch to the story, so I kept them
in. Only thing is, it was so hard to keep going that I need to put it aside and
do other work. One day the book will see the light of day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Who would you say you write like?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve heard comparisons coming up in
reviews now and again, but I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve never really thought I write like
any one person. I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve been heavily influenced by people like Stephen King,
Clive Barker, Elmore Leonard and Joe R. Lansdale, but I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m not sure I write
like any of them. If it was any of those though, I think the influences I
picked up from Leonard are the most easy to spot. I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m not big on
painting set pictures; overly describing how someone is dressed, what the
colour and texture of a carpet is or all the other minute things some feel are
essential. For me it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s more about the story, the characters and the action than
the small stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Who are your favourite authors?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
That<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s a hard one. There are so many, but I
recently posted a top ten of some of my favorite writers. So here it is again,
in no particular order: Stephen King, Clive Barker, Jack Ketchum, Caitlin R.
Kiernan, Joe R. Lansdale, Chuck Palahniuk, Joe Hill, Tim Lebbon, Christian A.
Larsen and Richard Matheson. The list always changes though. For me, the list
changes depending on who I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve been reading more of lately, but
these writers can usually be found near my night table.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Who influences you as a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Over the years this has changed
because I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m constantly being inspired by new writers that come out.
Growing up though, some of my biggest influences were some mentioned above like
King, Barker, Ketchum, Lansdale, as well as H.P. Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury,
Richard Matheson, Ramsey Campbell, Graham Masterton and Shirley Jackson. Some
newer ones would be Brian Keene, Tim Lebbon, Wrath James White, Chuck
Palahniuk, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Edward Lee and Joe Hill. Sometimes when I read
them, I feel like such a hack, but they also make me want to continue to strive
to be a better writer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Do you remember what your first horror book was
that you read?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
The first horror novel I ever read was
Stephen King<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s The Shining. It was grade four and I saw it in my brother<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
ever expanding book collection. I remember the cover too. It was all silver
with a face in the top center, but the face was blank. I had no idea what it
was about, and I admit that I really didn<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t <span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">“</span>get<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">”</span> every aspect of it when I read it
back then. Some of it was way too over my head, but it made me want more of
that kind of writing. I already loved horror comics like Tales from the Crypt,
Eerie, Tomb and a few others my brother had, so I started to look for novels at
the library. After that I think the next horror-type novel I found was Ray
Bradbury<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
Something Wicked This Way Comes which became even more of a staple for me,
something I really grabbed onto and influenced some of my writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->How
old were you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
I would have been around nine at the
time. Clearly not a good age for something as heavy as The Shining, but I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m
sure that<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s why I like what I like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Is
there any subject you will not touch as an author?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Not really. I used to say that I would
never kill a child in any books I wrote, but as long as it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
part of the story and it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s not graphic or written just to shock the reader, I would
and have done it. Instead of subject matter that I steer clear of, it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
more a tone I stay clear of. Torture porn is not something I care to write, nor
are rape scenes. Will I include them in the story if it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s called for? Yes,
but it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
all about writing it with the proper intentions. Having a hateable character do
or say something horrible is important if that<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s what they would believable do. I
wrote a novel where an abusive husband said things and did things that made one
editor uncomfortable, saying that it was too over the top, and nobody, even
someone evil would say things I made him say. Since I had heard the very words
come from the mouth of an abuser, I left them in because it something that
character would say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->What
was the best advice you were given as a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Don<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t let rejections get you down. I can
never say that enough. Rejections are all part of the learning and growing
process. When you do get a rejection letter, take it for what it is. Read over
and rework the story as it might need and submit elsewhere. Never, and I can<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t
stress this enough, NEVER send an email back to the editor. Even if it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
to thank them for their time, just let it drop. Editors have enough to deal
with without having to read thank you letters from everyone they reject (which
can be in the high hundreds for each anthology). Just let it go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Editors reject stories for all kinds
of reasons. Sure some of them are bad, but there are plenty of stories that get
rejected because your writing style might not appeal to the editor, the story
you wrote might not have clicked with them that particular day or it simply did
not fit in with the anthology and the editor having to make a hard choice. Some
of my most successful stories were rejected several times before finding a
home. The easiest one to mention is The Soldier which was rejected a few times
before being picked up, and that made it on to some of the year<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s
best short story lists.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->If
you had to start all over again, what would you do different?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Not take some of my rejections as hard
as I have. Also, I would<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ve taken more time with some of my releases. When I first
put out At the Gates of Madness, I left it up to my editor to do things right.
I was in such a hurry to get it out that I never looked over the final draft
sent in to be printed, so I personally missed the fact that the file sent in
was not the final corrections but the original first draft. Quite a few copies
of that got out before it was caught and it was and is one of the most embarrassing
things that I would love to go back and change. I don<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t usually mention
it either because it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>s so embarrassing, but maybe it<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>ll help other
writers. Do not rush a release!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->How
many books do you read a year?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
I try to read anywhere from 3-4 books
a month, so anywhere from 36-48 a year. I would love to read more, but I still
have to write and work myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 18.0pt; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">15.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Do
you write every day?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
I do, for the most part. Unless life
so rudely steps in and stops it, I write every day. I used to have a two hour
window where<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>d I write, but decided to do it with word count instead. Now
I write 3000 words a day, more or less. I give that so I don<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>t
just sit at my desk looking at social media or staring at Mina for the two
hours. Some days I will write more than the set amount though, in the case
where the flow is good and I have thoughts I need to get out, but I never force
it. If I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m
working on a novel and I<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms"; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica;">’</span>m not at 3000 words yet, but it feels like an uphill battle,
I just close it and work on a short story. Usually I have two novels and about
eight short stories in the works at once, so finding something to turn to
pretty easy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Website: <a href="http://www.shaunmeeks.com/">www.shaunmeeks.com</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shaun-Meeks/106128562748355<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Shaun-Meeks/e/B00JOFPMH8/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1425026506&sr=8-1<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShaunMeeks<o:p></o:p></div>
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Goodread: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5818641.Shaun_Meeks<o:p></o:p></div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-11119653323676743622016-08-29T14:14:00.000-07:002019-05-07T03:35:44.154-07:00Men in Horror: WALT WIGHTMAN<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
Blog Questions - Men Writers in Horror</div>
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<br /></div>
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1. I never thought of myself as a writer of horror. Sometimes I write about horrible</div>
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things, but it's just ordinary humans being themselves. I avoid the supernatural in</div>
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my writing, but that hasn't been any barrier to horribleness—people persist in</div>
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themselves.</div>
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<br /></div>
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3. Science fic7on has been my home, but in the last few years, I've been in the</div>
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“future ficton” sec7on of that field. Selection <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Event was based on a background of</span></div>
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sweeping diseases; Second <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Species and The </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Days </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">That </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Remain were about climate</span></div>
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change; Metamind had brain-.‐damaging entertainment as its basis.</div>
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<br /></div>
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5. What worries me? The passage of time worries me more than anything. What else</div>
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is ahead but inevitable disease, demen7a and death? I'm a slow learner and</div>
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usually figure out later rather than sooner what I want to be doing, so that's why</div>
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I'm writing my ass off before the first shoe drops.</div>
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<br /></div>
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7. My family is uninterested in what I write. It's never discussed.</div>
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<br /></div>
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9. My writing schedule is approximately 9:00 to 12:00 every day 7ll the book's</div>
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finished; then, in the PM, I look over my notes to see what comes next in the story</div>
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and then go to sleep thinking about it. Some7mes this gets tedious. That's the</div>
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worst I can say about it. When a book is finished, I have a cigar, take a couple of</div>
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weeks off, and then go at it again.</div>
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<br /></div>
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11. As far as writing style, I try to emulate something like the flat, factual style of</div>
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Raymond Chandler. From Hunter Thompson, I learned finer points of stomping the</div>
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accelerator to the floor; from Samuel Becke (the novels) I've picked up how to</div>
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convey a precision of action; from Bob Dylan comes the faint glow of surrealism;</div>
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and, from Jane Austen, those long luxurious sentences that make perfect sense</div>
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the first time through—I like those. Or, in short: From Chandler: syntax.</div>
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Thompson: choice of action and vocabulary. Becky, details of action. Dylan:</div>
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choice of image and vocabulary. Austen: sentence structure.</div>
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<br /></div>
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13. Lately I've been reading Eurpides with the goal of reading all his plays. He was the</div>
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Number One shitkicker of his day. He portrayed the great Greek heroes as greedy,</div>
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small-.‐minded shop-.‐keepers—a bit of reality for the hero-.‐worshippers. When</div>
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Athens raided a town and sold its popula7on, he wrote a play to show them just</div>
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how evil that was. He died in exile. My kinda guy.</div>
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<br /></div>
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15. Early on, the writers I most admired were William Faulkner, Eugene Ionesco,</div>
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William Burroughs, and a few others of similar extremity. I've been tempted to try</div>
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some experimental wri7ng, but generally I think reading fiction shouldn't be a</div>
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labor.</div>
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<br /></div>
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17. Some <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">of </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Your </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Blood by Theodore Sturgeon was probably the first horror novel I</span></div>
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read.</div>
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<br /></div>
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19. I was about 15 when I read it and all I remember is the cover. Gore has no special</div>
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appeal to me. The only time I've dealt with zombies and vampires, they were just</div>
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people deep in their role-.‐playing (The <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Road t</span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">o </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Hell). One </span>faux<span style="font-size: 11.5px;">-.‐vampire was going</span></div>
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to bleed a cat and drink its blood. Guess who came out of it purring?<br />
<br /></div>
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21. I was raised with pets as my friends, so they've always been as close, and closer in</div>
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many cases, than family. Readers can be sure that any cat or dog in my work is</div>
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going to come out of it just fine. I've never watched Old Yeller<span style="font-size: 11.5px;"> or similar movies</span></div>
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and I'm never going to read or see any entertainment that jacks up reader</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
involvement by harming or killing pets. I have an extremely negative reaction to</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
animal cruelty.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
23. The best advice I was ever given about writing was “Use colorful adjectives.” Just</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
kidding. Actually, it was one word: “Persist.” If I were giving quick advice, it would</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
be the same. For extended advice, I'd recommend Wrining <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Real </span>Ficti<span style="font-size: 11.5px;">on, where I</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
lay out exactly how I do it.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
25. If I were starting all over again, I would have had my brain replaced at age sixteen</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
and avoided my first two marriages. God, what a thought. I almost smell</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
springtime.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
27. A writing friend commented that when he writes every day, his desire to read</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
slacks off and I've also found this to be true. I read about a dozen novels a year,</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
but I read more nonfiction—magazines, parts of books, on-.‐line material—</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
depending on my current interests. I'm an infomaniac.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
29. And, yes, when a novel is in the works, I write every day. The <span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Day </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">That </span><span style="font-size: 11.5px;">Remain</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
took ninety out of ninety-.‐three consecutive days to write and another ninety days</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
to revise. That book also taught me that I can be twice as efficient in my writing if I</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">
outline beforehand. As I said earlier, life is short; we must think before and type</div>
f<span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: 11.5px;">aster.</span>Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-18977287820124005642016-08-29T14:04:00.001-07:002019-05-07T03:35:44.205-07:00Men in Horror: TONY TREMBLAY<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Tony
Tremblay<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">(Though
I am on Facebook as Tony Tremblay I do use a pen name, T.T. Zuma for all of my
reviews in Horror World and other review venues, and for all of my fiction). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<br /></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">When did you start writing horror?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
wrote my first horror story when I was 12. It was called, Spiders Ate My Face.
My father read it, and he hated it. I was so dejected I didn’t write another
until high school, when I was 17. My English teacher asked the class to write a
comedic short story, I tried but couldn’t, so I handed in a horror tale about a
man that got sucked into a painting and drowned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The teacher gave me an A. I waited until my
mid-fifties before I tried my hand at it again. I was very fortunate that Nanci
Kalanta from Horror World took a look at it, enjoyed it, and decided to publish
it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Have you written in any other genre?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes,
I have published a crime story and I have another one written that I have to
get around to submitting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">What makes you uncomfortable?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 1.5pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hardcore horror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, when it is fairly accessible, like the
way James Wrath White, Monica O’Rourke, and John Everson do it for instance, the
quality of the story usually wins out and I can get past the gore. But even
then there are times I have to put the story down. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Does your family read your work?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 1.5pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">My brothers and sisters, my in-laws, and my
son do enjoy my work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife has never
read one of my stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is a born
again Christian and believes that my stories are influenced by the devil and
that I’m going to hell (other than that one issue we have a great marriage by
the way). </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Does your writing make you uneasy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 1.5pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">It does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I lie awake sometimes at night wondering if my wife is right. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Who would you say you write like?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 1.5pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m not sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been primarily influenced by two
horror writers, Tom Piccrilli and Steve Vernon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Their styles may not be obvious in my work, but everything I write has
their mark on it from story structure to atmosphere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Who are your favourite authors?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">James
A. Moore currently tops the list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Christopher Golden, Gary Braunbeck, Robert Dunbar, Sandy DeLuca, Tim
Curran, Chet Williamson, Bentley Little, John Everson, Thomas Sullivan, Gene
O’Neil, Greg Gifune, Ray Garton, and Elizabeth Massie have been favorites for
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Authors that are new (or new to
me) that I’ve enjoyed include, Bracken Macleod, Jon Bassoff, Janet Holden, and
Rose Blackthorn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I’m leaving some
great author’s out so please don’t consider this list complete. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body" style="margin-left: 19.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">Who influences you as a writer?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">As I
mentioned, Tom Piccirilli and Steve Vernon are the primary influences, but I
also have a love of all those horror novels that were released in the 1980’s
and early 1990’s, the good and the bad ones. They took themselves seriously,
but not too seriously, and with few exceptions, the scares were visceral without
resorting to hardcore gore. It’s a formula I try to follow in my longer work.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">9.
Do you remember what your first horror book was that you read?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> No
question, it was The Bible, The Old Testament to be exact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those stories were brutal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">10. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>How old were you?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> I
believe I was around 10 years old when I started reading it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">11. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Is there any subject you will not
touch as an author?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Pedophilia
and rape scenes. I will reference them, but any action happens off the page and
it will not be explicit. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">12. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>What was the best advice you were
given as a writer?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Join
a writers group. It has given me invaluable insight on plotting, structure, and
most importantly, editing. I would be lost without the feedback and help I
receive from my writing group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">13. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>If you had to start all over again,
what would you do different?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> My
degree is in Mechanical Engineering, this didn’t leave a lot of room for
non-technical electives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I could, I
would have researched what elective writing courses were available at the time,
and then sign up for every one of them and skip the Fluid Dynamics courses. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">14. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>How many books do you read a year?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> An
average of 100 books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I review about
half as many for Horror World. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">15. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Do you write every day?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"> I
try to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="body">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;">************************************<br />
<br />
You can follow Tony Tremblay on Facebook and as T.T. Zuma in Horror World at http://horrorworld.org/msgboards/viewforum.php?f=2</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Thank you very much!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am very honored that you asked me to
participate!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3036673005450637181.post-37903009000206907892016-08-29T14:03:00.006-07:002019-05-07T03:35:44.376-07:00Men in Horror: LEE ALLEN HOWARD<h1>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Blog
Questions - </span><span lang="EN-US">Men</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> Writers in Horror Month<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Lee Allen Howard<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
did you start writing horror?<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wrote my first story on ruled tablet
paper in second grade. (I would have started sooner, but I didn’t know how to
print yet.) My teacher passed it on to the elementary school principal, who read
it at a meeting of the local Lions Club, of which my father was a member. As
president of the chapter, Principal Sprunger fined my father a dime because “the
preacher’s son wrote such a sordid tale full of skeletons, witches, and blood.”
That was 45 years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In third grade I wrote stories on
three-ring notebook paper, binding them with construction paper covers. One
memorable piece, titled “Eyeballs Only,” was about a mad scientist who turns
into a monster that goes on a rampage to pluck people’s eyes out and eat them.
They pop when you chew them, you know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Have you written in any other genre?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A few years back I wrote a pseudonymous
erotic gay romance that did fairly well. But I usually haunt the shadier
literary neighborhoods: dark fantasy, paranormal (</span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/the-sixth-seed\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Sixth Seed</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">), supernatural crime (</span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/desperate-spirits\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Desperate
Spirits</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/death-perception\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Death
Perception</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">), dark crime (</span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/mama-said\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Mama Said,”</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> my most popular
short), and psychological thrillers (</span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/call-of-the-piss-fairy\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Call
of the Piss Fairy</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What makes you uncomfortable?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Underwear that I’ve mistakenly run
through the clothes dryer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Does your family read your work?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A few cousins have read my books and
stories. My father the pastor has hasn’t. My saintly mother, who has read
little besides recipes, crocheting and sewing instructions, and children’s
Sunday school lessons, read </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/death-perception\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Death
Perception</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. She remarked, “That was a good story,
but did you have to use all those bad words?” I told her, “Bad characters say
bad things.” God bless her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Does your writing make you uneasy?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sometimes it does, but as a writer, I
must honor the inspiration, tell the story, and remain true to my characters.
The abuse scene in “Mama Said” always haunted me. The evil sexuality in “How I
Was Cured of Naïveté” (in </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/desperate-spirits\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Desperate
Spirits</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">) disturbed me. And the entire concept
and execution of the idea of a bedwetting cat-skinner jonesing to shave women
with electric trimmers made me squirm all the way through. Please, Mom, never
read </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/call-of-the-piss-fairy\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Call
of the Piss Fairy</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
would you say you write like?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some have compared my style to Stephen
King’s, but there’s no one writer that I emulate. I hope my style and voice are
uniquely mine, but that’s hard to judge from this side of the keyboard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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7.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
are your favourite authors?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I loved early King. Others include
Thomas Tryon, Patrick McGrath (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Asylum</i>
is a favorite), Cormac McCarthy, Ramsey Campbell, Joe R. Lansdale, Trent
Zelazny, Dustin LaValley, Stephanie M. Wytovich.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
influences you as a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My favorite authors above, of course. Basically
anything I read that strikes a creative chord. I’m also inspired by news
stories, television shows, and movies—whatever sparks my idea-generator or
impresses me with writing skill or visual style. More recently, Joyce Carol
Oates’ <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Zombie</i> (1995), Jim Thompson’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Killer Inside Me</i> (1952), and Barbie
Wilde’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Venus Complex</i> (2012) gave
me the crazy guts to write </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/call-of-the-piss-fairy\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Call
of the Piss Fairy</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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9. Do you remember what your first horror
book was that you read?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A fond memory from elementary school
was running home with the little pulp flier that Teacher handed out
periodically, the one that listed books with an order form on back. How to
spend my 35 cents…? One of my first and favorite reads bought that way was the
humorous and horrific <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How to Care for
Your Monster</i> (1970) by the late Norman Bridwell, better known for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Clifford the Big Red Dog</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Later, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Great Tales of Terror and the Supernatural</i> (1944) greatly
influenced me, as well as Thomas Tryon’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Other</i> (1972) and James Herbert’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Rats</i> (1974), all of which I read when I was about 13. I deal with some of
the classic tropes in my collection </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/night-monsters\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Night
Monsters</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
<s>10.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How old were you?<o:p></o:p></s></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<s><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was probably started in third grade,
but I really got into reading horror as an adolescent.<o:p></o:p></span></s></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is
there any subject you will not touch as an author?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Apparently not. “Mama Said” and “How I
Was Cured of Naïveté” deal with child sexual abuse. </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/call-of-the-piss-fairy\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Call
of the Piss Fairy</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> introduces 26-year-old bedwetter
Russell Pisarek, who grew up different from other young men because his vicious
mother punished him for wetting by shaving his head. After being betrayed by
his girlfriend, he took out his frustration by skinning neighborhood cats. Now
fixated on paying women back, Russell fantasizes about finding just the right
girl—so he can shave her bald. Armed with a military fighting knife, things go
from bad to worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sick stuff, but any subject needs to be
treated thoughtfully and responsibly, and and I feel I’ve achieved that in my
writing, although some might say the stories in </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/severed-relations\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Severed
Relations</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> are purely for cheap, blood-sticky
thrills. I can’t argue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
12.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What was the best advice you were given as a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“There are no magic formulas. Do your
best, continue learning, and keep trying.” I can’t attribute that quote because
I just made it up, but that’s the gist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
13.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
you had to start all over again, what would you do different?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I would study the craft of fiction
writing more seriously much sooner in life. I tried for 20 years before I
really understood what a story was. It took me another decade to hone my
mechanics. However, in the process, I became a better writer and a fantastic
editor and publisher: </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/thou-shalt-not\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thou
Shalt Not…</span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
14.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How many books do you read a year?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It varies from year to year, but I read
an average of 30 books a year, and this includes fiction and non-fiction. I typically
read at least an hour a day (more in the winter, less in the summer).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
15.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do
you write every day?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I do write daily, although I don’t
write fiction every day unless I’m working on a project. I’ve been a technical
writer for the software industry since 1985 (some consider this qualifies as
horror fiction). I also write non-fiction, do freelance editing, serve as a
publishing consultant, and blog regularly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Besides being a writer, I’m also a
Spiritualist minister, channeler, and psychic medium, providing intuitive
counsel for writers and other human beings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 18.0pt;">
Please provide Amazon, Twitter, Linked In,
Facebook, Blog Links<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lee Allen Howard’s Amazon author
page:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/www\.amazon\.com\/Lee-Allen-Howard\/e\/B004U7773C\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://www.amazon.com/Lee-Allen-Howard/e/B004U7773C/</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Twitter: </span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022https\:\/\/twitter\.com\/LeeAllenHoward\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">@LeeAllenHoward</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Facebook:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022https\:\/\/www\.facebook\.com\/pages\/Lee-Allen-Howard-author\/117844011639457\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lee Allen Howard, author</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Writer’s site:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/leeallenhoward\.com\/\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://leeallenhoward.com</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Editing site:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/wordsmithereens\.net\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://wordsmithereens.net</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Metaphysical blog: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-field-code: " HYPERLINK \0022http\:\/\/building-the-bridge\.com\0022 \\t \0022_blank\0022 ";"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://building-the-bridge.com</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">YouTube channel:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh4nqffbXM6bkDKoFR6wTBw"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh4nqffbXM6bkDKoFR6wTBw</span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Malina Rooshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03134203305930215898noreply@blogger.com0