The Dogs of Depression: A Guide for Happy People

The Dogs of Depression: A Guide for Happy People

Sunday 29 March 2015

Men in Horror: JEFF STRAND


 Jeff Strand is a highly gifted, extremely talented and exceedingly funny man. He has MC'd several of the Horror Association Award banquets and has written dozens upon dozens of books. I love his dark humour, his sense of comedic timing, the it-seems-so-easy-to-be-a-writer style he has, and the simple gift of telling a story.

Several books had me laughing out loud, and others had me wondering what was happening in his head when he wrote a particular story.

The man is a genius and if you have not read him, you are missing a great gem.

Some of my favourites was "PRESSURE" which weirdly reminds me of Sheldon Cooper, but I really cannot explain why..."DRACULAS" which he wrote with Blake Crouch, F. Paul Wilson, and Jack Kilborn; GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES; CUTTER; THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE, and many more.



1.     When did you start writing horror?

In high school. Before that, I was far too cowardly to watch, read, or write this stuff.

2.   Have you written in any other genre?

Yes. Most recently, my novels Kumquat and I Have A Bad Feeling About This are comedies without any horror elements. But about 90% of my published work is somehow tied into the horror genre, even if it's something like my new young adult novel, The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever, which is purely a comedy but is about kids making a horror movie.

3.  What makes you uncomfortable?

A loud party where I don't know anybody is far more terrifying to me than a guy chasing after me with an axe. (Disclaimer: I have yet to actually have anybody ever chase after me with an axe. When it finally happens, I may need to revise my answer.)

4.  Does your family read your work?

Yes, but they're not completists. In general, they prefer the more serious books to the goofier ones, although my sister's favorite is The Sinister Mr. Corpse, which I would've expected to be one of her least favorites.

5.  Does your writing make you uneasy?

Nope. Even in something like Benjamin's Parasite, which has a tooth-related scene designed to make the reader go "GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" I'm too involved in the technical aspects to be disturbed by my own writing. It's also very rare that I laugh at my own written jokes.

6.  Who would you say you write like?

Dave Barry mixed with Richard Laymon mixed with Douglas Adams.

7.  Who are your favourite authors?

In the horror genre, Robert McCammon, Jack Ketchum. F. Paul Wilson, and David Wong. Outside of the genre, Jonathan Tropper, Sara Gruen, Larry Doyle, and Dennis Lehane.

8.  Who influences you as a writer?

If we're saying influences, present tense, I don't think there are any conscious influences. Reading a really great book makes me say "I need to do better!" but not "I need to write something like that!" Previous influences go back to the Dave Barry/Richard Laymon/Douglas Adams answer.

9. Do you remember what your first horror book was that you read?

Actually, I don't. I'm pretty sure it was a short story collection, and I'm pretty sure it had a Harlan Ellison story where a little girl bit off the head of a candy voodoo doll, but I might be wrong. But the first adult horror novel I read was Stephen King's Christine.

10.  How old were you?

Sixteen.

11.  Is there any subject you will not touch as an author?

Not specifically, but because I'm trying to entertain my readers instead of outrage them, there are some lines that I rarely cross in a comedic story. You're not going to see much in the way of sexual violence in my work, but it's in my story "The Origin of Slashy." If something is just meant to shock the reader, I won't include it.

12.  What was the best advice you were given as a writer?

I read a Neil Simon quote that said, "I have no loyalty to a funny line. If the scene works better without it, out it goes." The biggest problem with my early, unpublished work (and some of my early, published work) was a tendency to want to keep every single joke. Now, I'll cut a whole scene if it doesn't benefit the overall book. My heart dies a little when I do this, but I make the sacrifice for the greater good.

13.  If you had to start all over again, what would you do different?

There were a couple of opportunities where I said, nope, that's not what I want to write, where I kind of wish I'd said, "But, by golly, I'll write it anyway!"

14.  How many books do you read a year?

Not nearly enough. When I look at my Goodreads list for the year, I'm filled with shame and regret.

15.  Do you write every day?

I wish I did, mostly because it would make a great final answer to this interview to say "All writers must write every day! No exceptions!" But I think most writers who say they write every day are great big fibbers. I tend to write more and more as the deadline grows ever closer...ever closer...






Friday 27 March 2015

Men in Horror: SIMON DEWAR

Simon Dewar is my DFF.....Devil Friend Forever. He was the 666th person to show up on my friend feed, we connected and it is a match made in Heaven. Turns out he knows a thing or two about writing, has an amazingly beautiful daughter and will be hanging out with me at The Overlook Hotel in October, where we will be running up and down the hallways at midnight, knocking on doors and running away. We will probably piss off Jack Ketchum, but that's okay. I just finished a book he edited, SUSPENDED IN DUSK, that has some incredibly well written stories in it, and I just finished reading HIGH ART, co-authored with Karen Runge in DEATH'S REALM. Very creepy, very sexy and highly entertaining, with a wee touch of disturbing. What more could you ask for in a DFF.

1.     When did you start writing horror?

I started writing almost three years ago. My daughter had just been born and  I wrote my first story:  a guy with a newborn who loses his mind due to caffeine consumption and sleep deprivation. I sold the story to the Bloody Parchment anthology and thought I must be some kind of writing genius. The next dozen or so rejections disabused me of this notion, very quickly.

2.     Have you written in any other genre?

Yes, but what genres they are... Im not exactly sure. Some of the stories Ive written feature no supernatural or monstrous element and the only real monster is you. Or me. Or the guy sitting next to you on the bus. Some of the stories Ive written have a very literary bent where Ive attempted to use subtle imagery or layers of meaning to achieve an effect for the reader.  So there are elements of horror, elements of literary fiction, and elements of suspense. I think many people may not view the stories as traditional horror. Ill get back to you on this when I manage to find more homes for these orphans.
Ive got a scifi-military horror mashup that Im working on now, but Im moving it to the backburner so I can try and finish a novella Im working on.

3.     What makes you uncomfortable?

Explicit sex in fiction generally makes me uncomfortable. I was raised in a reasonably religious household where sex wasnt EVER talked about and was only something to do in the privacy of your marital bedroom. So I still find graphic sex and sexual violence to be completely confronting, particularly if it is worked well into a story. Karen Runge wrote a story called Good Help that was published in Shock Totem recently which blew my mind. It was about a nursing home carer who sexually teases/tortures one of her patients.

4.     Does your family read your work?

Nope. Wife hates horror and my daughters are all teeny tiny. I proudly showed my dad my contributor copy of Grey Matter Presss Deaths Realm anthology, only to snatch it out of his hands when I remembered that the story I co-wrote for it with Karen Runge is replete with graphic sex scenes. I wouldnt have wanted to give him another stroke. Crisis averted!

5.     Does your writing make you uneasy?

Everything I write makes me uneasy because I write for myself, in a way. Im aware that the chief purpose of fiction is basically entertainment but I like to broach themes and subject matter that speaks to me and my personal experience somewhat. So when Im writing about bullying or acrimonious divorce, or family, or fear of the unknownIm really channelling my own feelings on these issues and exploring how I feel about them. I also believe that this kind of method writing is the most honest way of writing and potentially the most entertaining for readers. From a literary critics perspective, I suppose it provides a great insight into me when you look at my work through the prism of The Author v.s The Implied Author. Or the Man who suffers v.s The mind that creates.

6.     Who would you say you write like?

I came into horror as a Warhammer 40k/Horus Heresy fan and a HP Lovecraft junkie. I completely lost my shit though, when I saw how Jack Ketchum writes something just as scary, or far more soand its just about the evil within human beings. Ive written several stories now where even the good protagonist who has been wronged or poorly treated resolves the issue through less that tasteful methods. Often in my stories, the antagonist who does horrific things does them only because theyre seriously broken by their own horrible experiences. I like to explore the theme that were all somewhat monstrous, just in varying degrees. Whether my writing is really reminiscent of Jack Ketchum style, is another matter. One can always dream.

7.     Who are your favourite authors?

To name a few:

Jack Ketchum
Shane McKenzie
HP Lovecraft
Stephen King
Richard Laymon
Clive Barker
Angela Slatter
Felicity Dowker
Kaaron Warren
Karen Runge
Sarah Read

8.     Who influences you as a writer?

Most of my major influences at the moment are female writers that Ive made connections with through the horror fiction scene and the Australian speculative fiction scene.  Angela Slatter is a big influence, not only for the amazing talent of her writing, but shes an A grade professional and has provided me with some great advice. Ive also been lucky to benefit from the advice of authors such as Kaaron Warren who regularly attends Conflux con and is also a member of the Canberra Speculative Fiction Guild.
Thematically, Jack Ketchum and HPL have been quite big influences for me. Although I think that the more I move away from being influenced by HPL, the better my writing is becoming and the more unique my voice is.
Needless to say when Jack agreed to write an introduction for my first horror anthology, I was beside myself. In truth, I still am.

9.     Do you remember what your first horror book was that you read?

I was never interested in horror, as a child or an adult. Probably he closest I came to was a love of the Warhammer 40k/Horus Heresy universe. Now I find it kinda ironic, given that I was well into the heavy metal scene and horror has obvious links to that sub-culture. The first horror book I ever read was the extended version of Stephen Kings The Stand. I actually listened to the 23hr audiobook version. I loved it. The second book I listened to was the version of The Shadow over Innsmouth from Wayne Junes The Dark Worlds of HP Lovecraft. It is THE BEST audio version of that story. In fact, every story written by HPL that Wayne June has read is scary as all hell. He has the perfect voice for it. From there I looked up other books and authors that Wayne had read, which included Jack Ketchums Hide and Seek, which remains one of my very favourite stories. I love audiobooks. Something about them makes me feel like a little kid on the parents knee being read a story. Theyre also awesome because you can listen to them while vacuuming the floor or mowing the lawn.

10.  How old were you? 
28, maybe.

11.  Is there any subject you will not touch as an author?
No. The only subjects I wont touch are ones that I havent thought of or dont yet know how I want to address. I agree with S.G Larner and her recent article on the Grey Matter Press blog which broached writing about taboo subjects such as a rape or child abuse. These things need to be written about. Writing about them isnt the problem. Writing about them poorly is.  I sympathise with magazines, publishers or markets who get a lot of bizarre and upsetting torture porn fiction or stuff from sickos who are living vicariously through their fiction. I dont agree with blanket bans on subject matter though as it throws the baby out with the bathwater.

12.  What was the best advice you were given as a writer? 

Angela Slatter said:  Dont be an arse.  This was the best professional advice I was given. The best writing advice I was ever given was just Read, and read widely.  So much of what we learn about writing, from grammar to vocabulary, to style, to inspirations for new stories etc, is all learned or appropriated by osmosis, from reading.

13.  If you had to start all over again, what would you do different?

Id have started earlier thats all. Im at the point in my life where weve got 3 kids under age 3 and its making it hard to read and write and devote the time to my craft that Id really like to. Im just trying to be patient and write when I can and make smart career decisions with regards to my writing and editing gigs. Its nt too much of a hassle. I have 3 beautiful girls and family comes first. It also allows me to bide my time and work out the projects I really want to do, when I want to do them and how is best for me to achieve them. Im not sure if Id look my writing/editing career so critically if I wasnt forced to take that step back from it.

14.  How many books do you read a year?

No idea. I dont bother to count because the number is depressingly low. I actually read more short stories and novellas these days than novels, for the simple reason that Im constrained by time. Now I wonder why shorts arent absolutely massive. Theyre the equivalent of watching a TV show instead of watching an entire movie. Short doses of entertainment that people in this modern world can easily slip into their hectic lives and lifestyles. I guess this is why TOR have recently released a novella range. I suspect theyre betting on an upswing in popularity for this format, for the reasons Ive just described.

14.  Do you write every day?
 I look at my fiction and either write or edit every weekday. Weekends is just for family, right now. I would say I write 5 days a week, even if its only 100 words per day. I get extremely agitated if I dont exercise that creative outlet. If I dont get to write I not only am miserable, but I tend to make those around me miserable too.




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Wednesday 25 March 2015

Men in Horror: DAVID BERNSTEIN


Ahhhh David. Now here is a person that put together a phrase and knock it out of the park. I do believe David and I share DEAD HARVEST by Mark Parker together, and his was one of the standouts among the 50 stories. Quite the feat in a 3 pound book!

Do not I believe I have read anything else by David....yet. But I will. This guy is talented. 

1.     When did you start writing horror?

I wrote my first horror story when I was in Kindergarten. It was a two-sided, hand-written (some letters backwards) haunted house story. I still have it today. Of course, my mom saved it.

2.   Have you written in any other genre?

I wrote a non-horror story about a kid getting bullied in high school. Other than that, Sci Fi. But not Star Trek like sci fi, more Alien like scifi. I have written mostly horror, but I like to mix it up, like Sci Fi /horror and even fantasy horror. My novel Tears of No Return is a sci-fi, supernatural, action, urban fantasy horror novel. A totally mixed bag. It's very different than my other stuff. Machines of the Dead is an action zombie horror series, but sci fi based.

3.  What makes you uncomfortable?

Talking in front of a large crowd. That's true horror.



4.  Does your family read your work?

Yes. My parents read all my stuff. But there was one book I didn't give my mother to read. She loves horror, but not extreme. However, I gave her The Unhinged anyway, which is my most extreme horror novel)  If she can get through it, I might just give her Jackpot.

5.  Does your writing make you uneasy?

Not at all. I used to draw cartoons of people getting cut up and mauled when I was younger. Lots of blood, chainsaws and machetes in action. My friends loved it. Now I do the same, just in the written form.

6.  Who would you say you write like?

I'm not sure. I do know that I have to be careful about what I read when I'm writing. Sometimes if I'm really into a book, it can affect the way I write. I find myself adapting to the style a bit. Or if I'm reading a present tense book, I sometimes find present tense in my writing, which I never do. At least I haven't yet.

7.  Who are your favourite authors?

Too  many to name. But a few are King, Scott Smith (wish he'd write more), Jack Ketchum, Sarah Langan, Ray Garton, Edward Lee, Graham Masterton, Lee Child, Raymond Carver, Dixon, and more.

8.  Who influences you as a writer?

I think my above mentioned favorite authors. Also, movies. I see a great movie and it makes me want to write.

9. Do you remember what your first horror book was that you read?

If I remember correctly, it was The Gunslinger. But is that REALLY horror? If not, then it's probably King's It.

10.  How old were you?

Twelve. Not sure. So long ago! I originally bought The Gunslinger because I liked the cover. Had it in my room for some time, then I went on a vacation with my family and brought it along and read it. I read It in ninth grade. I hated school and hated reading. Then a friend of mine gave me It and I couldn't believe how great it was. Of course, it didn't help me get my school work done, if anything, it made schoolwork worse because I'd rather being reading. The Talisman was next!

11.  Is there any subject you will not touch as an author?

Anything's game I think.

12.  What was the best advice you were given as a writer?

To write. It's that simple. Just write. Get it out and don't stop. Write when you want to write and when you don't want to write. You go to work when you don't want to and when you aren't feeling your best. Writing is no different.

13.  If you had to start all over again, what would you do different?

Pay attention in school, especially English classes!

14.  How many books do you read a year?

Anywhere from 1 to 3 books a month. More if they are novellas. Reading is key to writing. I don't understand how people say they want to write but don't have time to read or don't want to read. How the hell else are you going to grow and stay fresh at the craft? Read shitty stuff too, it'll show you things, amazing things!

15.  Do you write every day?

I try to write 5 days a week for at least 3 hours a day. More if I can. If I stop writing for a few days I find it harder and harder to get back into it.






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